Wednesday, August 4, 2010

i am supposed to be sleeping but...

i am supposed to be sleeping but i can not stop thinking about this so i had to write it down. justin will edit it first. for the first time today i got anxious about this blog. its only existed for 3 days and it appears that a good amount of people are reading it. which is cool. but also weird because i may not know you. but as i was thinking that tonight i felt assured that Jesus is using this. he has to or all this is a waste. my cancer that is. its a waste of time, energy, lots of money, and me missing out on time with ava. like when i got home and wanted so desperately to hold her but i couldn't really because my neck hurts so bad and i am so nauseous so i had to hand her back to justin. this will all be worth it. every second of it if jesus does something big with it. he will though. i have to trust that.

14 comments:

  1. he IS doing something big. you have already encouraged me so much. your strength and faith in jesus is incredible. keep it up, sister.

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  2. I don't know you and you don't know me. I found out about you just yesterday. Already you have impacted my life. Several times today when I would find myself getting negative or wanting to complain about the unimportant things in life God brought you to my mind. I want you to know that God is changing people thru you already. Everytime God brings you to my mind I have a change in attitude and I take a moment and lift you up to our Soverign Healer. I pray you get a restful night sleep and in the morning can hold your baby girl with no pain.

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  3. Dear Libby,

    God is using your witness, there is no doubt. It is a common theme in the notes I receive. People are inspired...I am inspired...and you should sleep peacefully, sweetheart, knowing that God will use your testimony to expand His kingdom. I love you & will see you very soon, Mom

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  4. this IS worth it, remember that libby! the Lord is using you in mighty ways.

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  5. Libby,
    I heard of your story and blog through my friend, Lauren Duke. I also graduated with Justin from Ryle. I have felt so blessed to carry this burden with you and am praying for you daily. I am actually a pediatric oncology nurse in Cincinnati and hearing your story makes me overwhelmed with how Jesus will use you. I have never experienced a trial like this but in witnessing so many that do, I know how mightily he will use your story and reveal himself to so many countless others around you. Jesus used a family I cared for intimately to bring me to salvation in Him. Being a christian in these circumstances just makes you stand out tremendously and such an obvious witness to God's amazing sovereignty, grace, and worthiness to be trusted. I am so thankful for your willingness to share.
    Sincerely,
    Katie (Case) Stephenson

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  6. Libby,
    Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your family in this blog. I worked with your sister Allison and she shard this blog. Please know I am praying for you and am amazed at your strength and courage through this all. God is with you!
    Sincerely,
    Wendy Mielock

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  7. I just started reading today and I read through all your posts, and just from reading this and not even knowing I can tell how strong you are and so if your husband and daughter. You have an amazing support system and while you can't see the reason now, God does have a reason for this and if nothing else think about how much you are encouraging others just with telling your story. My husband always tells me "someone has to air their dirty laundry and story for someone to realize they aren't alone". I am praying for you :)

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  8. Libby,
    My name is Renae. My aunt is Shirley Lambert who is dating Justin's father. She told me about this blog and about what was going on so I came here to read it. I was struck by your passion for Christ and the openness with which you have chosen to stand up against this cancer. I am so thankful for your choice to publish your thoughts. I was literally sobbing when I read your story through the current day. But the tears I shed were not tears of sorrow, rather tears of joy at how wonderful you and Justin are. I've allowed distance between God and myself to become the normal standard in my life and your story literally made me FEEL God's presence again. Thank you so much for sharing your hurt and your pain and your struggles and your victories. I think God's plan for you is reaching much further than you can comprehend. My family, complete strangers to you, are praying together every night at our dinner that God provides you and Justin and Ava with strength and keeps you safely at his side. Thank you for helping us see him again. The Rossow Family.

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  9. Libby, I love that you write. I can see the Lord being glorified through it so much. It makes me wish that I would have done something like this, because I see how much more He could have used it. You are such an encouragement, and I am praying for you! Thank you for being so vulnerable.

    in Him, Jenna

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  10. I haven't been able to think about anything else since I read your blog this morning. Even though it's hard, thank you for staying positive and continually giving glory to God. I pray for you. Do you have a PO Box? I haven't seen one listed on your website.
    -Megan Garrison

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  11. This week I've been reading your blog and you don't know me...and i don't know you either. i love that you don't care about punctuation! I'm from Baton Rouge. i think about you every morning and pray to our Precious Heavenly Father on your behalf. you are so blessed beyond measure by your sweet husband, child, and all your many friends. it shows. :) remember that no matter what, HE KNOWS!!! may you be richly blessed this day.

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  12. OH. my. GOSH. I just started reading today and I read it all. I cried the whole way through. I feel so blessed to read your words and to SEE your faith in God! I can not even begin to imagine your situation. I do not know you and you do not know me, but I just want to reach out to you and hug you and help you any way that I can. So I am praying. OH BOY am I praying! We serve an amazing God and he WILL use this situation and he WILL use you! He is already shining through you in every word you write! I pray for your miraculous healing and peace for you and your beautiful family!

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  13. HI Libby! I found your blog today, and I love the way you write. I am a pediatric ICU nurse, and unfortunately I have hem/onc patients all the time. It is so easy to not think about what a family goes through before I meet them, which is why I read some of the blogs I do, to gain compassion. You and your family are inspiring, not only because of your trust in God through all of this, but because of your obvious love for each other even before your diagnosis. I will be praying for all of you.

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  14. Libby and Justin,
    I can't thank you enough for sharing your story. Not only am I praying for you in this admittedly, but you're outlook and Christ-centered approach has helped me to find more fervor to pursue Him in my own life. God is good and through this you are showing many people what truly trusting in Him looks like. Thank you!

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