its raining here & i love it

two of our good friends just left our house with justin to go pray. they were the ones that were bringing sushi and they did and it was perfect. especially since i have not eaten since prom night. a dear friend of ours, a sophomore in college organized a prayer night for me. for me? really? i am not sure what to do with this. how i feel i mean. that people would come together to pray for my healing and for my family. as justin was walking out the door to leave i said to him, "can you believe that this is our life?" and i cant. to be honest its all too much. other people get sick, not me. we plan prayer nights for people, but not for our own family. but in the midst of it all i am very thankful for jesus and for community. he meant for us to live in community so that we would never go through valleys alone. and this is what brings us together i guess. its still very strange that its me. i am not sure i will ever get used to it. but thankful that i am surrounded by a community of people who love the Lord and love my family. we will beat this. i will not stop fighting. even when it hurts and i am very tired. i will keep going. i promise. many people have said to me, God never gives us more than we can handle. not true. i may already blogged about this actually. but anyways i cant handle this. its too much for me. so because its too hard for me and for justin to handle, we are brought to our knees. the only hope we have is in Jesus. if you read nothing else ever again on this blog please read this. Jesus is the one thing. nothing else will satisfy you. i promise. and that is what i am holding onto tonight as i sit in my living room and the rain is pouring down onto our sky lights, a sound i love. my sweet ava is sleeping and people in chesapeake are gathered in a small church to pray for me and my family. praying big prayers. our God is a God of miracles and that is where my hope is found.