Thursday, August 5, 2010
we got home a little bit ago from my pet scan. it was weird. there was no one in the waiting room except for us and they had me drink this nasty radioactive stuff. when the nurse was putting in my iv i asked why this place looked deserted. she said, oh well its just me and the dr that run this place and we schedule all patients appointments 45 minutes apart so no one has to wait. she said its hard to be here because every patient that comes here has cancer and we want to be sensitive to what they are going through and try to make this a peaceful environment for them. i thought that is nice of them. but to us it seemed a bit creepy. but they really were nice and the scan was easy. just had to lay there and not move for 20 minutes. easy enough. but it was sad for me because i am now one of their cancer patients. just hard to think about it. i am getting less strong. like today the iv really hurt my arm. i never realized how much i use me neck until i cant. its hard to hold ava. its hard to wash my hair. right now its just hard. today has been hard for me. i have been impatient with justin and i am not sure why. he is doing everything. but i guess days like these are allowed. some friends are bringing over sushi tonight. which we love. i also got two packages, three cards, and a bouquet of flowers. so thank you. i still trust jesus. but today i am a little sad. and these days will come.