Monday, August 16, 2010

3 weeks today

sorry for not posting much recently. the outer banks was restful and relaxing. it was nice to get away. we swam in the pool, played putt-putt, ate good food, played with the babies, and enjoyed way too much candy from my sweet aunt janie (she knows us girls well). but now we are home. back in our house and our own bed. oh, how i missed my bed.

today at 7:30am justin and arrived at the hospital for my bone marrow biopsy and my metaport (that way they can administer my chemo easier). all in all it went well. sweet nurses and a great doctor who assured me i could have as many drugs as i wanted to and i would not feel any pain. she was correct. although i was awake for both procedures it was not painful and they both went fine. we will not know the results of my bone marrow biopsy until our appt on aug 24 with our oncologist. the metaport kills. i have been in pain all day. i am nauseous and tired, but can not seem to sleep. maybe i will tonight.

its been exactly three weeks since we found out about my cancer and today is the first day that i have experienced real pain. not like crazy pain, more like really uncomfortable, like someone please take this foreign object out of my body (not the cancer, the stupid metaport). they told me it will get better. but i can not pick up ava for two weeks. TWO WEEKS...are you kidding me. that sounds awful and sad and again reminds me this is real and actually happening. but we have help from my sweet family until sunday. i like that they are here to take care of us and watch ava during all of our appointments. family feels like home.

the nurse today said, "wow i bet its been a nightmare for you guys since you found out three weeks ago..." i did not respond, but i immediately thought, nope not a nightmare. never occurred to me to think of it like that. not because i am strong or anything, because this sucks. cancer is not very fun at all and i hate it. but i do not hate it because i think its unfair or why me...but mostly because i would prefer not to have cancer. but i trust jesus more than i ever have in my life and i can already see how he is using this in such huge ways and i love it. he is real and he is good. all the time.

thank for all the emails and mail we got this past week and the fun packages. it bring me lots of joy and we appreciate it so much. as i am writing i can hear my darling ava in the living room laughing at her daddy and i can not hold back my tears. she laughs the most with him. i also laugh the most with him. so i guess her and i really are a lot alike. the Lord knew we would need ava during this season of life. she keeps me from staying in bed all day and for that i am very thankful.


  1. Libby and Justin,

    You both are such an inspiration to me and so many others through your willingness to give yourselves for the glory of God.

    I am praying for God’s purpose in your lives to be shown to the world.
    AND that His peace remains on you and your family in Christ.

    You are victorious in Christ Jesus!
    Please let me know if there is anything I can do!
    Dan Gezon

  2. Dearest Libby and Justin,
    Wow, you guys are amazing. I'm trusting God to do a mighty work in and through you. I am so glad you have your family this week. Chandler had a wonderful idea that we could coordinate meals and babysitting for you guys, would love to help in any way possible. Is someone already coordinating meals? What about help with Ava? please contact me. With Love
    Lorraine 418-1755

  3. Such an inspiration you are!!! I'm a new reader to your blog...started at the beginning on Sunday an read all the way and through today. I can't wait to watch you kick this cancer's butt!! As I read each and every word I am reminded...Psalm 3:3 " But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,my glory, and the lifter of my head."

  4. Hi Libby, so sorry you are sore from the port today. Hope it is better tomorrow. A good friend of Ross' from high school had Hodgkin's at age 18. she is now married and had a bay in May. Her name is Kristina Ryan. Maybe she would be a source of inspiration and help answer some questions you might have. Thinking and praying for you always. Love, Aunt Deb

  5. again, you never cease to amaze me. you make sad words such a beauty. i love you and will call you in the morning to pick the dates for my next visit. thanks for being you.
    ps..jus makes me laugh, too. he is the third funniest person i know...first tommy, then dad, then jus.

  6. Libby, you have such strength and courage...what a fine choice my son made. I know many people are being helped by you example. Thank you so much for the update. I continue to pray for you.

  7. Libby,
    I've been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now. I just have to say that your faith and complete trust in the Lord is AMAZING. I can tell you're not in this to impress people with your faith...but the way you are responding to situations is so encouraging. I really admire how you say that the cancer sucks. That you don't want it there. But that you completely trust Jesus. It's all very real. Like you said, God is using your cancer in great ways to bring Himself glory and reach people. Thank you for being a willing servant of Christ. It's humbling.

  8. "Family feels like home" may be one of the most beautiful phrases I have ever heard.

  9. So glad you could all be together for a while! We pray for you frequently, and praise God for your testimony. His grace is above anything we could imagine!
    Love, Dick & Carol Lenger

  10. Libby-I always thought you were amazing and every update in this blog confirms that you truly are a blessing to all. I am currently involved in the Beth Moore bible study, Loving Well, and you are definitely an example of someone who is allowing God's Love to flow through you as a ministry to others. How I wish you (and everyone who loves you)didn't have to suffer, but I just want you to know that I sense/KNOW that God is using this season in your life in amazing ways to minister to those that you never would have reached otherwise.
    Love you! Aunt Shelly

  11. Libby, Justin & Ava,
    You don't know me but I have been following your blog for the past few weeks. I live in Hagerstown, MD. With each post I cry. Not because I'm sad for you (ok maybe a little) but because you are constantly reminding me to trust & have faith in the Lord. I'm inspired by your love for each other.
    I am 42 years old & have meet alot of people along the way. I have never meet a young lady as yourself. Your strength poise, grace, love, name a few truly are an inspiration. I love the honesty you & Justin have in your posts. It's refreshing. It's ok to feel all the different emotions/feeling you have at times but thru it all the bottom line is your undying trust in Jesus. You have no idea how many lives you are touching, how many people you are inspiring by sharing with us this part of your lives journey. I am blessed to be able to see your family's love story unfold on your blog.

    Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

    Wishing you a blessed day!

  12. glad you had a good time in obx. missin' you lots and prayin for you.

  13. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. I feel a very beautiful strong family each and every time I read this blog! I continue to pray for you all. ~Shirl

  14. Libby,

    Hi, I am Julia's mom. I can not stop thinking about you and your family.God and I have not been on speaking terms for a while......I do find hope in your blogs. My heart goes out to you you and your family. I only wish the best for you : )))) Debie Laino


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