yesterday pretty much confirmed that all this is real. no more denial and no more numbness for me. this is happening. i have cancer. unless God does something crazy, like i know he can, we are mentally preparing ourselves the best we can for the long road ahead. the dr said i will probably lose my hair, but that i could get a wig or something. right of the bat i said, oh no not for me. i am a scarf girl. cute fashionable ones please. does not matter if am bald, wearing a scarf, or a wig, people will stare. i know because i have stared at people. but now i will look at people with deep sincere compassion and empathy. i would ask you to do the same too. i may even ask my sweet sister who is gifted photographer to take some pictures of me and ava with no hair. she is bald still. its precious. she wears big huge bows those to distract from her baldness. but now i am thinking i want to embrace her sweet baldness a bit more.
i was so sick last night. my dr gave me vicodin, but it made me sick. so i took a little tylenol pm and went to bed no problem. sore. but ok. ava slept in until eight this morning. that has been my main prayer and the Lord delivered. she still seems to enjoy her sucky formula, although weaning her is very sad for me, since i was trying to nurse for a year, i knows its whats best for her and for me during this time. i asked justin to cancel my PET scan for today, but when he called they said, sorry her medication is being driven in from washington, dc this morning so we are going to need her to come in today. wow i must be special. all the way from dc huh. just kidding. i am just tired and uncomfortable, but she said the PET scan is easy and they will make sure i am as comfortable as possible. this morning as been good so far. justin fed ava her bottle in bed with us and that is such a precious time with her. she now has two teeth coming in on the bottom. oh, my sweet sweet baby. justin went to dunkin donuts to get my favorite donut. chocolate frosting with sprinkes. he is taking care of it all and that gives me such peace.
yesterday i got a big fat package from my sweet friend angie. also flowers from my cousin and his wife. so fun to come home to after surgery. also some cards, endless emails, texts, and calls...i usually cry when i read them. thank you for loving us and taking the time to join us on this journey. God is so good. the way people are loving us and caring for us right now has given me a glimpse of how God intended this world to be. that is why he is so good because he is the designer of it all and his plan is better than anything i could have made up in my head. i love that.
I was sent the link of your blog and I am really touched by your story. I just wanted to let you know that your family is in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteLibby, I work at starbucks and I met you at that breakfast at Lisa's house. I want to let you know I am praying for you and you sweet family! Please let me know if you need anything ever! I live in the corner of cedar and waters rd. You are an amazing woman!! With all my love, Rebekah McCallum
ReplyDeleteHi Libby...I agree with you...go with a scarf. Wigs are way too hot, besides you'll be able to coordinate with you outfits! Brooke said that maybe Justin will shave his head too. We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me ,but we are sisters in Christ. I've walked this road with my Husband who had leukemia. By God's grace, He is now healthy and cancer-free! I am sharing this blog with several close friends who are right in the thick of it, one is in stage 4 cancer. Thank you so much for your faithfulness to our Savior and for encouraging others with the encouragement you recieve in Christ!-In Christ,Shelley
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story so far.
ReplyDeleteI would like to offer you, your husband and daughter a free photoshoot, and a disc with the pictures. please contact me via my website.
thank you everyone for loving my baby sister so well!! becky
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog this morning through your friend Kari's craft blog. I don't know either one of you other than you are my sisters in Christ. I believe that God sent me to your blog to learn your story so that I could pray for you and your family. So many others might have asked "why me", but your humble and unassuming attitude is obviously of Christ. Already He is using you, working through you to touch others. God has a purpose for you. I pray that this "speed bump" is only a blip in your long and happy life.
ReplyDeleteTo your husband Justin - You are a blessing among men! I hope that all men, young and old, look at you and see the way God intended husbands to be - leaders, strong, supportive, gentle and loving their wives like Christ loved the Church.
God Bless you Libby, Justin and Ava!
Moved is hardly the right word for how I feel after reading your blog! I've cried, laughed, smiled, prayed.... for you, Justin & Ava! You've touched me in so many ways, and I want to thank you! Not only for sharing your story, but for sharing the love between you and Justin, and the love you have for your precious daughter, but especially, for the love you have for Jesus! My heart has been filled by your words, and devotion to the Lord!
ReplyDeleteMany years ago, I was one of those Young Life teens (MANY YEARS AGO) who came to know and accept Christ through YL! 1979 Camp Hebron in Pennsylvania was where I took that "leap of faith!" That summer, I went to Windy Gap, YL camp in N.Carolina (i think) and had a great time...after I fell down the side of a hill and gave myself a concussion!!! It was a great week, and will never forget it! I was 15 then...I am nearly 47 now!
I live in Mechanicsville VA...so not too far from you. I will continue to follow your blog as long as you continue to make your entries!!!
God Bless you all!!
Rene Seiders
Libby, I think you will look just as beautiful with a bald head as you do with a head full of hair :-) Scarf is a good choice, and if you feel you want a croheted hat just let me know and I've love to whip something up for you..maybe even matching hats for you and Ava for that photo shoot (free of charge) :-) Paul and I are still praying for you and thinking of the journey you have ahead...
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Libby,
ReplyDeleteSo glad you slept OK last night. I prayer for you (& me) to sleep well as I lay in bed wishing I were there. I am having a serious computer glitch so that I canot get ANY e-mail. Everytime the computer tries to receive one, a dialog box pops up (just so I know exactly how much I am missing!) Maybe this is a blessing in disguise so I can get packed. At least I can access your blog and stay connected that way... I love you and Justin and Ava and I considered shaving my head, but I am not as cute as you and it might scare Ava...or Dad. :)
Can't wait to go scarf shopping with you...remember, the best ones are at the Harley Davidson store, per Lori.
God bless you, my darling. Mom
(I know pet names "annoy" you, but...I'm going to use them all.)
Hi Libby,
ReplyDeleteI heard your story through friends at Sovereign Grace Church. I have nothing fabulous or encouraging to say except that... I've read your entire blog this morning and your beautiful story is engrained in my heart and mind. I will be keeping up with this and am committing myself to uplifting you in prayer. You have a beautiful family. What a precious little girl...
Much love... Jessica Rockey
I found your blog through another blog "friend". I just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Coming from someone who has battled cancer already in my life, I'm here if you need an ear. I know you don't know me, but simply wanted to offer.
ReplyDeleteLibby, I know your friend Jen who directed me to your blog. I can't imagine what you are going through. Know that your sister in Christ in Kentucky is fervently praying for you and your sweet family. May I be as faithful and courageous as you are. May God give you a comfort and peace as you begin this journey and may He heal your sickness. He is definitely being glorified through your life and your testimony.
ReplyDeleteHi Libby,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I came across your blog through a friend of mine on facebook (it's a little weird how technology connects everyone now!). Y'alls story broke me. I am a mom of a 2 year old boy, Aidan, and a 5 month old boy, Roman. I'm also 26. My heart goes out to you, especially all the obstacles you have with being able to nurse and hold your sweet Ava (my Roman is now on "sucky formula" too because I can't produce enough milk for him).
You are such a strong disciple of Christ. Your entire blog highlights your faith in Him and I pray that you will beat this cancer and always have your words (written through Him) to look back on so you and your sweet family don't ever lose the passionate fire Jesus has bestowed in you. I'm so thankful that you have so many friends and family supporting you, and an amazing hubby to lean on. Best of all, your fully convinced faith in Jesus to carry you. It's really amazing to see the body of Christ come together. And you're totally right when you said that this is what God had envisioned for our world. For us to love one another and help each other. I can only imagine what Heaven will be like.
You and your family will be in my prayers. I really mean that.
Much love from a southern girl who's heart you and your precious family have touched.
In His name,
Jolynn Dupree
i too came across your story on another blog. i will be praying for you and your family. god is in the business of miracles! may he give you peace and comfort during this time.
ReplyDeleteHey Libby & Justin,
ReplyDeleteI was college roommates with Libby's Aunt Janie at Calvin (I knew your parents too Libby). Janie and I were together when she got the news that you were sick. I could see how much Janie loves you by her reaction and by the way she talked about you guys. Please know that I have been touched by your courageous blog, as I am sure many other people are. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Cynthia Orr Visbeen
Hi Libby,
ReplyDeleteYou dont know me, I came across your blog on another blog, and felt compelled to come ready your story. My husband was diagonsed July 24, 2009 with Stage 4 Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma at the age of 33. After chemo and a autologus stem cell transplant he is currently going on 6 months being cancer free. We have 2 sons, they were 2 and 6 at the time. I know your pain and fears, but I also know that our God is the Ultimate Healer and an amazing miracle worker. He can carry you through anything.
I ran across this quote somewhere and it sums up how I felt during our battle. "I know many have told us that God will never give you more than you can handle. I smile and know this is more than I can handle. However, I wonder if it could mean that He will give us what we need to handle that which alone we couldn't." -Holly McRae
My prayers will be with you and your beautiful family constantly.
Brandy Hurford
brandyh_19@yahoo.com
I came across your blog on another blog. Your story is so powerful and you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for! Sweet Ava..I have a son that was born in January as well. God doesn't give us things that we cannot handle. Your family is in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteLibby,
ReplyDeleteChrist in you is so alive and real. We continue to pray hard for all of the specific requests.
I wish the Internet knew how to hug people. Because I would tell it to hug you for a long time.
love,
kessicks
i have tears streaming down my face from your story! i, too, am a young wife and mommy and cannot imagine what you are going though. but i do know that the lord has a plan for you and your family! it is so amazing to read of your faith through all of this!! what an encouragement! i will be praying for you!!!
ReplyDeletethough we talked on the phone for an hour this morning, i don't want to miss a post! i want to comment on everything you guys write so that you know we're reading and that we care so much.
ReplyDeletei know i've repeated myself a million times on this, but geez louise this blog is powerful! we'll probably never, ever know the distance that it reaches. now all who come across it will be blessed by knowing you just like our family has been.
don't stop believin'! (circa dominican republic karaoke night '07.)
Libby, I am checking your blog several times a day. It is not the same as being there to hug you and share my strength with you. The family in Ky are all praying and blessing you for sharing with us. I know our Father will keep on strengthening you and you are always in all our prayers. My love to you beautiful girl. Grandma Ryder
ReplyDeleteThinking and praying..............you are truly an inspiration to so many people. An old song from church comes to mind for me. "One Day At A Time....Sweet Jesus....That's all I'm asking from you. Just give me the strength to do everyday, what I have to do......." and it goes on.....I pray you have the strength each, every day and I know you will!~ Shirl
ReplyDeleteLib,
ReplyDeleteyou said you will "ambrace Ava's sweet baldness"...does that mean I need to make you some headbands like those I made for Ava from knee high hose? If so, I'll start shopping for some Queensize panty hose to cut up. First Queen size anything you have ever worn.
Just say the word and I'll get on it. I feel certain Ava will share her big flowers and bow clips with her beautiful Mom.
Love, Mom
was directed to you today and just read the story; know that I'll pray you through this journey; God is already making a difference through you and will continue to do so!
ReplyDelete