so we just moved into our dream house on the river and now the east coast is anticipating a hurricane. hurricane earl. i went to walmart to get a few things and was overwhelmed by hundreds of people stocking up on water, flashlights, batteries, toilet paper, and food. people take potential hurricanes real serious here. or maybe i am not taking it all seriously enough. either way with the help of our dear neighbors, who have dealt with storms before lets just hope our new home does not flood. i may not be able to handle that along with cancer.
so its been almost a week since my first chemo and my nausea and mouth sores are gone. i am pretty tired, but other than that feel good. so thankful. i think the hardest adjustment for me now is figuring out to handle being sick from chemo one week and then going back to "normal" for another week and then starting the cycle over. i decided that i can handle emotional pain better than physical pain. i have never asked god why. in regards to cancer. but i did ask god why my mouth has to hurt to bad. isn't cancer enough? why the side effects? but i guess its how it goes and we will learn to cope. i think i am the most scared of how chemo is going to impact me physically. because we will not really know until it happens. that is hard for me. the physical pain part. will it be cumulative? or will the pain not be as bad because i know what to expect now? the unknown is hard. but i did decide that worrying about it really will not help. even though we all know that i am really trying to just take all this as it comes.
ava crawled yesterday for the first time. and in just over 24 hours she seems like a new little girl. no more baby. she is a little girl now. not like a toddler little girl, but something in between. either way i love it.