Sunday, September 5, 2010

labor day weekend

cliff and laura came this weekend. they are our best friends. it was good to finally be with them. it was the first time since i got sick. the time we spent together was full of life changing conversations, great food, the back porch, music, pedicures (it was sterile and clean i promise), the river, ava, and my new wig. it was sweet time together. they know our hearts and it was nice to be with people who really know us and love us nonetheless. we love you both. they are ava's godparents. so they are real special.

i have felt normal these past few days and that is nice. i often wonder when that will change. like when i will get too sick. too tired. in too much pain. not sure. but for now i feel like myself. justin and i sat on the back porch on friday waiting for cliff and laura to arrive and it was magical. like those moments that you will never forget because they were too special. almost unreal. he played the guitar and its soothed my soul. we danced to over the rhine. if you listen to them keep listening. but if you do not listen to them please buy drunkards prayer and it will change everything. especially the song, "i want you to be my love." while we were dancing we did not talk. but i did ask justin, "hey, what are you thinking?" and he said he was thinking about dancing with ava at her wedding and i responded with, "oh, i was thinking what if i died." he said, babe! i said what. i have to think about it. its possible. not just because of cancer. i could die at anytime. but i am not scared. not even a little bit. i want to be in heaven. why wouldn't you. colos sians 1:5 says, you do this because you are looking forward to the joys of heaven-as you have been since you first heard the truth of the Good News (jesus that is). so i do not write this to be morbid or anything. i promise. its just real and i am not scared about it. i am more scared of the pain of cancer then death. wow that was heavy. but its what i was thinking about so i wrote it down. i am not that strong. i am sure i am scared of dying a little bit.

laura and i bought my wig yesterday. weird. the whole thing was weird. i did not cry though. i liked having someone with me. loosing my hair will be hard. its going to probably start coming out after my next chemo treatment this thursday. but i am trying to keep my hair long until sara gets here to take pictures, pre me loosing it. i will cut it short after that since it will be too much for me to watch it come out when my hair is so thick and so long. but it will grow back and its just hair and the wig is real nice and pretty (thanks helen).

thank you billy and jimmi for the team libby bracelets. everyone loves them. you can keep sending them this way since they are becoming a hot commodity. thanks for the cards, emails, texts, gift cards, checks, and sweet treasures for ava. i love mail and look forward to walking to my mailbox to see what has arrived everyday. since getting sick i have realized and learned a thousand new things, but one is that i will always send a card or flowers or an email or something when someone is sick. it been true joy. seriously true joy to see the outpouring of love we have received from people. many we have never met. which is extra nice because i have never sent someone a gift that i did not know, but i get that weekly. so thank you. we feel loved and prayed for. lets not stop until its gone.

15 comments:

  1. Glad you got to spend special time with friends. It is normal to think of the "what ifs" but as time and treatments are behind you you can focus more on that beautiful future ahead of you.
    I took flowers to a friend of mine going through treatment for ovarian cancer. I can't believe the rounds of chemo and radiation she has yet to receive. She has a geat attidute and a doctor for a husband. He took time off practicing to care for her. He is on her back constantly to do this and that.
    A little overkill but the love is there. Enjoy every minute and I am thinking there will be lots of them ahead for you. ((((HUGS)))) Oh and I have been cancer free for over 20 years......yipppppeeeee.

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  2. Libby, once again thank you for sharing your thoughts openly and honestly. Glad you were able to have a wonderful weekend with your friends. My prayers are that you have many of these special times along your path to recovery. Team Libby bracelets? What are they...please share with us so we can join in.

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  3. You inspire me. :) Yes i want to know about these Team Libby bracelets!

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  4. hey libby, my husband is on yl staff down here in NC [lake norman] & i'm a mom of a little one too. i got a link to your blog a few days after you started it from a friend & now i read it regularly. the best part is that people click on it from my blog who don't know jesus. and man are they getting a clear picture of HIM through your sweet family. praise jesus. just wanted to say i'm praying for you, daily, even though we have never met i feel as if you are my sister in christ. my husband ben is praying. and i just messaged cliff [we are from greensboro] to tell him our prayers are around you all. p.s. over the rhine is amazing. thanks for sharing.

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  5. Libby, your words are so real its beautiful. every time a read an entry of yours i finish and think wow, could i say that? could i feel like that? i encourage you to keep writing, its therapeutic :)
    i'm sure sara will capture even more beautiful pictures of you and your lovely hair--i dare you to be crazy and do something unique for your pictures do something very you. you should...if you are planning on cutting your hair, do it before it starts to fall out and donate it to locks of love. i'm sure you thought of that but i just wanted to put that out there just in case. i do know almost every patient i've talked to thats had chemo has said their hair usually grows back in much thicker, weird huh? :)
    as always thank you for sharing and we'll keep praying for you here in ky.

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  6. My Mom has cancer and she would AGREE - so nice to get a card in the mail from someone! My girlfriend (who is so special to me) sends her one once a week!! I see how happy it makes my Mom.

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  7. thank you for your continued updates. i still think of you EVERY day. you continue to teach those around you to remember what is truly important in this life. it must not be an easy road that you are on, but you are handling it so well...and giving so much of yourself to the rest of us by this blog. thank you. so thankful that you have so many loved ones that care for you.

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  8. oh, and I want a TEAM LIBBY BRACELET~!!

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  9. Libby, I have to say having my hair begin to fall out and then having my head shaved was extremely emotional at first - but then so FREEING! Other than my head getting a little bit cold, my showers went quicker, saved money on hair products, and never had to worry about bed hair!! Wear your bald head proudly because you earned it. love ya tons

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  10. I would love to know more about team libby braceletsl! i have friends and family praying for you as well... we would all love to wear and support those bracelets!
    you inspire me everyday to be a better person.
    god is so so good in all that he does. i know that he has great things in store for you and your family. keep believing.

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  11. Justin & Libby... Bob & Shawn here... We wanted you to know that you will be at the top of our prayer list. If you ever need to just do coffee...hang out...talk...cry...shout...sit in silence...give thanks...anything...Call us. Your friends... Justin - call me you have mu number... Peace

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  12. Please put your new address up on your site... thanks We love you .

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  13. will you please share how to get a team Libby bracelet. thanks

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  14. Hey Libby and Justin--You are in my prayers--just finished reading the whole blog--it only took about 2 hours! :) Great passion for life and Christ. A testament to who you are who's you are! Love you both!

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  15. went to coffee break staff breakfast this morning and another member mentioned reading your blog and that your really have it together regarding your faith/walk with the lord.

    bet you will still look great with your hair short or even bald. all you need to do is smile and no one will notice anything else.

    kim geelhoed-gr, mi (brookside crc)

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