our first rain storm on the river

doing much better since my last post. and trying to get used my hair. its so peaceful right now. just put ava down to bed. justin is at barnes and noble. and i am upstairs. finally feel like i can relax. like really relax. before ava my favorite thing to do on gray rainy days was watch movies like the stepmom. but its hard to lay around all day when you have a nine month old. and although i love love the movie stepmom i am taking a little break from it until i am cancer free. just too sad for me now. so instead i will read through an issue of real simple.

the day the article was put in the newspaper here i literally got a steady stream of texts and emails all day. no joke on average every 3 minutes i got something. and i have not stopped thinking about the emails i have received from people. people i do not even know. and may never know. its overwhelming. in the best way possible. and humbling. really i am not that person who is like, oh this is so humbling but inside thinking wow i am really cool and people really love me. seriously that is not me and i pray people know that. i never meant for this to happen. really. i never meant for the blog to be read by more than just our family and friends. but that has proven not to be the case. and i am humbled because i am not that special and our story is really not that unique...but for some reason...some amazing reason the lord is using this blog in huge ways. thanks for taking the time to join in with us. basically all i really wanted to write tonight was that the words people have shared with me...i have been sitting here for a few minutes thinking of the right word to use. but got nothing. it would be close to amazing i guess. since that is always mt "go to" adjective. i may not be able to respond...but really i read every email, every blog comment, every text, every card, every facebook message, everything. i read it all. i have not deleted one email. not even one since i got sick. every email that has been sent to us has been saved. i treasure them. we treasure them. they are in a special folder called hope. sometimes i cry. cry a lot because people are allowing me to join in their journey. they share their heart. they are vulnerable. they are real. they are honest. and they are kind. oh, so very kind. i am the most blown away because i have never seen jesus in this way. the way people are loving us. i never knew jesus was this real. this tangible. but he is. i promise he is real and he is all over this. like why would a random church small group in north carolina send us a card with six gift cards. or someone i do not even know send my mom a $100 check for us. but thank you. although i can not always make sense of it all. it does not matter. but what matters is that we feel. literally feel people praying for us and loving us from all over the world. thanks for joining us.

thanks cliff and laura for coming. and for cooking. and for meals on the porch that feel like a movie. we love you

some sweet girls. check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ-KoXUSjiE