i think there is something about rainy days that do this to me. makes my soul ache in a deep way. i love the rain. its only 10am but i met with one of our deal college leaders, got dunkin with ava, while driving to drop off justin's dry cleaning listened to a cd from my dear friend bethany, which caused me to cry, nearly uncontrollably. then came home and watched this you tube video about young life and why it is the best ministry tool for jesus i know of on the face of the planet. promise i am not bias just because justin works for young life. its true. then got an email from a women who had cancer when she was 24 and spent the better part of her busy morning (she is getting married saturday) reading my blog. she said some very kind things to me and which resulted in tears for me. but these are good tears. because of these lyrics that touched my soul in a deep real way this morning...
this is not how it should be, this is not how it could be, but this is how it is, and our God is in control. this is not how it will be, when we finally will see, we’ll see with our own eyes, he was always in control. and we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God. and we will finally really understand what it means so we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God while we’re waiting for that day. this is not where we planned to be when we started this journey, but this is where we are and our God is in control. though this first taste is bitter, there will be sweetness forever. when we finally taste and see that our God is in control.
as i listened to these words i thought about everyone who has no hope or says they have hope in Christ, but nothing about their life reflects that. oh, man not good. or those who simply believe in nothing. nothing but themselves. gosh that is heartbreaking to me. both sad and scary. scary because we are sinful and very broken people. i would hate to rely on me. seems like a bit of a disaster. and sad because when God created his world he never meant for it to be so broken and hard and sad. but it is and things like cancer happen. and cancer is all of those things to me. hard and sad at the same time. i have no profound way to end this post, but i had to write down how powerful this morning was to me. so i will never forget. so for me...God is enough. because everything else will ultimately fail me.
Libby, I look fwd to ur blogs , when I don't see a post I miss u... and I don't even know u personally however I sense ur heart and know that God is enough or should I say even more than enough.... Pslm 27... Have a Blessed Day and I pray Thurs n the days to come will be tolerable as u go thru ur treatment...
ReplyDeleteloads of hugs n prayers for u,hubby and baby Ava
love you libby. miss you dearly. God is enough. God is enough, He is good. He will take care of you, He will satisfy you, He will get you through this. He is your treasure, whom have you in heaven but Him? and on earth there is nothing you desire besides Him. your flesh and your heart may fail, but He is the strength of your heart and your portion forever. God, not the giver of money, safety, cars, or health, is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him, in the midst of loss. that makes God look beautiful, it is what you have done. see you in november, kiss lil ava for me.
ReplyDeleteLibby, I have been following your blog for a couple of weeks and I look forward to each of your posts. I am always so inspired by your words, your strength, and most of all, your unfailing faith in the Lord. Today, especially, I really, really needed to read this particular post. As I type this I am sitting in my doctor's office waiting for a pre-op visit to schedule a D&C due to a missed miscarriage. Sitting here with all the other (very pregnant) ladies made me start to feel sorry for myself. So, I thought I would get my mind off of it by checking in on your blog....WOW, am I glad I did! I think God led me here at exactly the right time. Thank you so much for the help your words have given me today. The song lyrics speak so loudly to me today. Your are such a wonderful person and your story is bringing so mug glory to the Lord. Prayers and love for you and yours. Thanks, again.
ReplyDeleteGoodness, I love you.
ReplyDeleteIt was a big morning for you. Wish I could've been there to sip a mocha with you on the back porch while we listened to the rain. Last time I was there, you talked me into spraypainting a lamp in the rain!
ReplyDeletelove you
Libby,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I am a friend of Elizabeth C's and a couple of weeks ago she posted a blog about your blog. My mom has cancer, so it caught my eye. The words from that song that you posted were exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you for being so brave and sharing God's love and hope through this. I am praying for you and your family.
Love,
Bethany