Tuesday, October 19, 2010

yl banquet

tonight is our annual yl banquet in chesapeake. justin is speaking at it. please pray it goes well and that jesus is glorified. and that lots of money is raised.

i am finally feeling a little bit better. i went to target today. the most i have done since chemo. but it was good to get out. there is this awesome service out there for people with cancer. a cleaning service. they will clean your house 4 times for free during chemo. its awesome. so three real nice ladies came over today and cleaned. which is perfect because i am exhausted. i sleep whenever i can. so pray ava keeps taking two good naps a day. i need the rest. i also need more help. but i hate to admit it. justin pretty much had ava with him all day yesterday because i was too tired. so glad we have justin.

tomorrow is pet scan. i have barely thought about it. but i am a little nervous. wont know results for a week. which is hard. waiting is hard.

i read a blog last night. one i read a lot since sara introduced me. i have never cried while reading it. but last night i did. hard. she was talking about her love for her little daughter. who is close to ava's age. and i thought about ava and how my love for her is scary. like a good scary. so intense and deep. but sad because what slips into my thoughts is what ava's life would be like without her mommy. now i know i do not need to "go there." but i do sometimes. i think about it. not out of fear. but mostly just sad thinking about it. real sad. so i kissed her a little bit more today. dressed her real cute and hugged her. a lot.

8 comments:

  1. Libby the last paragraph of you post is something I could have written word for word! My little girl Kelcee just turned 4 and I am about to undergo Chemo Infusion on Thurs. and I am nervous! I have been on chemo pills for awhile but this is a bigger step and an option I really didn't have a choice about since my DM is blazing so much! I have also found myself reading other blogs and then wondering what Kelcee's life would be like with her mommy, and it makes me so sad, and I cry and I kiss her that much more and play with her that much more and I dressed her up in the cutest halloween knot dress and ugg boots today and her and I took a nature walk! It really is the little things that matter family matters, I try to cast all my anxieties onto the lord but sometimes it is so hard to! I read your posts and you are so inspiring to me! I hope your pet scan gets great results and like I do try not to let the devil slip those what ifs in your mind it just scares us silly, we just need to take it one day at a time

    xoxo
    Summer

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  2. Kel just called me and said she's sorry she made you cry. Love that girl!
    I think all parents"go there" sometimes, unfortunately. Perhaps, sometimes it spurs us on to more life and love.
    Rock your new jewels tonight and wear your smile...I'm sure everyone will be so glad to see you. Your strength is a living example of faith in God.
    Love you. Skype again soon...with some lucky duck.

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  3. I miss you you...you and Ava and Justin. Really bad. That's what happens after being with you and then suddenly apart. Cold turkey. It's never long enough. Tell Ava her "baby doll" has a little brother who will join her baby family at Thankgiving, OK? Hugs all around.

    Love,

    Mom/Oma

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  4. Picturing you all hearing the (hopefully)extremely large amount of money raised tonight. Wish we could be there with you. We are so proud and thankful for who you and Justin are in Christ and how you've allowed yourselves to be used to change so many lives there.To think of the miracles that wouldn't have taken place in Chesapeake if you had not come... Also, praying for what you need for tomorrow...and for the waiting.

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  5. Praying for Justin and praying for your rest and long life with ava.

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  6. You are all in our thoughts and prayers every moment of every day. We will say extra prayers for you all today regarding this evening and the pet scan. Love you all. ~Shirl

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  7. Hi Libby, R, & Ava, you are daily in our thoughts & prayers. We love you so much! I will come & stay/help out any time you need me. I would welcome the opportunity to serve/love you guys anytime! We are expecting miracles! Love, Lee & Betty XXOO

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  8. Sending prayers your way for the PET scan and believing in good results from the Healer who IS healing you!

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