post chemo 4 and hives

yesterday was pretty eventful at the ryder house. my dad arrived late wednesday night so we all got up in time to eat breakfast before we had to leave at 9:15am for chemo. not sure why but justin and i were moving really slow. but we all had some scrambled eggs and toast and my dr had said at ava's 9 month appointment she could have eggs. so we gave her a few and my dad watched her as we got ready. well at 9:15 (we are supposed to leave) with my hair still in a towel, my mom brings ava to me covered in hives. all over her little face, neck, and hands. it was awful. so i take her in my arms and send my dad to baby benadryl and i call her dr. and they want me to bring her in at 10am for to the dr. we are of course received that she is breathing fine, but just rubbing her eyes with a face full of red bumps. it was so pitiful. it was also her nap time so she was so sleepy. so i got ready. justin made her a bottle and they headed to her pediatrician. i got in the car now very late and drove to chemo alone. was not good. just sad for ava and how i am her mom and i should be there with her. but thankful for my sweet husband who is more than capable of caring for her. which of course he did. and sent me pictures of ava the whole time. so needless to say ava had to get her blood drawn and justin said she was so tough and did not even cry. they will now test her for egg, peanut, banana, and some other common allergies. seriously praying it was nothing or she will grow out of them as being allergic to egg or peanut would be annoying. but had to keep reminding myself while sitting in chemo. she is fine. seriously she is fine.

 sweet baby ava waiting to go see the doctor...no picture can even capture it

my chemo was fine. my wbc were down to 13,000. and i will get a PET scan next week to see how my body is responding to chemo. someone was sitting in my chemo chair so that threw everything off even more. worried about ava. no husband. and now no chair. but i choose another spot in the room that near windows and it was fine. my sweet chemo nurse and i talked more than usually because i was alone and she was not so so busy. it was nice. she helped remind me how blessed justin and i. she works with patients everyday and sees the vast spectrum of people and who gets help and who does not. how some people react to cancer. not physically but emotionally. she must see such a range. for me. for us. even in the midst of cancer the Lord has provided in the most amazing ways. really its more than enough. following jesus and trusting in God does not mean life always works out the way you want it. tough stuff happens and we do not know why. but he is good. i have never been more sure of that in all my life. we have cancer. and its hard. and today i am laying in bed blogging nauseous and sick. its not fun. but God is good because...i have a family that loves me, we live in our dream house, we get meals brought to our house four times a week, people clean, care for ava, the mail does not stop coming, a golf tournament to help with medical bills...i could go on and on. maybe some day i will post just about that. how good God is. but he is. and i am thankful because there are other parts of cancer that are very hard. i wish i did not have to endure. but i do. and i will. justin and my dad arrived 1pm and we got done around 2pn. the plan was for both my mom and dad to come, but with the egg mishap plans changed. came home and slept for a while. went to bed at 9pm. and praying for two things today. my nausea and little ava's allergy. or lack their of. oh, i sure hope so.