oma (my mom) is here. she arrived last night. she gave ava her first little baby doll and ava loves her. she crawls around with her in her hand. its so cute. sure is nice to have my mom here. i need it. i need help and that is hard to type and even harder to say out loud.
went to dr today and my wbc count is over 8,000. wow! so i did not need a shot because my count was so high. although the shots were pretty miserable we are glad my wbc is up. we now have a week break from any appointments. i am so thankful. its been a tough five days. i literally become physically sick when i see the chemo machines at the dr office. not sure why but this past weekend was really hard for me. i think this is all become more real. not as surreal anymore. its real. its our life. and we are living it. the more that sets in the easier it is to be depressed, angry, and sad. and although i feel that way at times i continue to cling to jesus. but this is hard. for sure harder than i thought. i am exhausted and very achy. and sometimes wish this was all fake. but its not. i just think its all settling in. i have cancer. even as i write that i think...wow i really have cancer. i do not think you ever get used to having cancer. you just begin to accept it more and more everyday. not by choice. but by reality. and because we can't change it we choose to embrace it.
justin and i are trying to get away for the weekend...well just saturday night. i am not ready to leave ava for too long. we need a break. just some time out of the house (although we love our home) to just be together. hope it works out. i love my husband.
Your so beautiful ....hang in there and I hope you really do get away for the weekend just to relax and have a good time!
ReplyDeleteKris from MN
Praise the Lord! I will continue to pray your wbc stays up and I hope you and Justin are able to spend some time together this weekend. Love you.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear your wbc count was up and that you're appointment free for a week! Enjoy some much needed time away this weekend!
ReplyDeletei love you and am with you in this. praise God for your wbc count and i'll pray that a time of renewal for you and J works out.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful to read the news about your WBC, praise God! Sending warm thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteWe said an extra special prayer for you yesterday at our RWOK time...even if you aren't a high school kid, we still prayed for you!
ReplyDeleteMuch love and many prayers!!!
We have been praying for your white blood cell count and PRAISE THE LORD that you didn't need an injection! Isaiah 41:10 has really been a comfort to me recently, maybe it will be for you.
ReplyDeleteSo full of thankfulness right now that your body gets the break at least from the shots. I hope you and Justin have sweet and blissful time away. Thank you for describing how you feel physically...helps to know how to pray day-to-day. The other night at dinner, little Ryder prayed and he said "Dear God, thank you for our food. Thank you for our day. Please make Aunt Libby better. Amen."
ReplyDeleteAren't Moms the greatest. I am so happy to hear your WBC is up. Whether it was prayers or the shots, probably equal measures of both, great news. Will continue to pray you stay on schedule from here out.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing a picture of Ava with her baby.