Saturday, August 21, 2010

a short letter for my wife (from Justin)


You can't even understand how bad I golfed today. I lost 12 balls on 12 holes and got laughed at by a woman that was receiving a lesson as I "tried" to play through. I was alone and honestly couldn't concentrate cause I kept looking over my shoulder and wondering why this attempt to "get out of the house" went so badly. I just hate seeing you in pain. I reminded myself of Cliff at our wedding when he thought he was left handed then convinced my dad on Hole 8 that he needed to re-rent right-handed clubs to finish the round. I hope that made you laugh.

Here's something else that you can laugh at -- Ava holding her bottle up with her foot.

You have been in pain lately, and LIBBY, it kills me. Things are settling down, and babe, it doesn't mean that I or everyone else is ANY LESS there for you. We have only just begun to care for you, love you, and encourage you. I will start fresh tomorrow! You are doing a great job enduring and beginning to reach out. I see echos of Philippians 1 in your messages, "I want you to know brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the Gospel...". Keep being yourself. I don't even know how to say it, I just hate when you are in pain. Its remarkable you ask me to take a picture at every test, so we can look back and remember when this is over. Well, this is my favorite, a breathing chamber.

Somehow you are smiling behind there. I hated it, but that nurse was really nice. Well, you are teaching me what it means to be tough, to endure, to hope, to be sad for the right reasons. I have certainly been happy for the wrong ones before this. Be positive! You are more than a conqueror in Christ, and you are by no means defeated by this. It still doesn't define you, it never has, and it never will. As the scars pile and procedures pile up, you get more beautiful by the day. You are still surprising me and making me laugh around every corner. Still surprising me. How you have handled this whole thing has been such an incredible gift. And babe, I'm doing my best, it will be a failure sometimes. I hate seeing you in pain. If there is anything you need, keep asking.

moving on Monday,

For our family and friends...just press the words below to see the video
Here's a little update of sweet Ava from today, we love to get a little video when she wakes up and is so peaceful.


  1. absolutely beautiful. All 3 of you. We love you all so much. Thank you for sharing your story and life with us. We all growing stronger in Christ because of it.

    Concerning this thing, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me,
    "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 8 - 11

  2. What a great team you all make. Love you all 3. Sending my weekly surprise tomorrow. Wondering which address I should mail to??? River house?

  3. Love love the video! I hope your husband makes more! You have a beautiful family!

  4. that video was beautiful and full of pure joy and love

  5. Thanks for this window into your world. Enjoying it here in Michigan this Sunday morning. At 11 am the Vermeulen clan is holding a worship and prayer service lakeside. The sermon will be "don'twasteyourcancer." We will praise God and pray for His grace in extra large doses.

    Love, Mom

  6. we LOVE that video! and you all. baby ava is perfect!

    we want to come visit you.
    Ben & Jen

  7. Ava is beautiful, just like her Mom.

  8. your all's family could not get any darn prettier. so sweet. thanks for sharing.

  9. Wonderful video...can not wait to visit the river house. I miss you all...stay strong.

  10. she's not even my kiddo and I could watch that one over and over again. So sweet and precious. You guys..all three of you... were made for each other.

  11. This beautiful. Please make and post more. Video is so powerful. Great song: what is it? -Kristy

  12. I love your pixie cut, honestly it looks much better than in the "precut" picture. I can relate to your feelings on not wanting short hair. I had to have a surprise brain surgery. I had medium length hair and it took me forever to grow it that long. During my surgery they had to shave half of my head, but I made it very clear I did not want them to touch the otherside. I was hell bent I could get some stylish, fabulous hair cut after and still look amazing. Lol. I kept my half head of hair all the way through my month long hospital stay and even for a few weeks after I was home. It wasn't until my husband said "I'de rather look at G.I Jane instead of an appache woman!" That I decided it was time to go to the salona and have it shaved. I felt so sad, but once it was gone, I looked pretty decent and had a ton of compliments. That was three years ago and my hair has since grown back, but there are a lot of times when I think about cutting it that short again. Try to hold your head up, you are a beautiful, strong lady and look wonderful with short hair.

  13. I was in a breathing chamber recently for asthma, which pales in comparisson. In any case, I can't believe you're smiling because I HATED it! You're amazing.


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