Thursday, August 5, 2010

PET scan

we got home a little bit ago from my pet scan. it was weird. there was no one in the waiting room except for us and they had me drink this nasty radioactive stuff. when the nurse was putting in my iv i asked why this place looked deserted. she said, oh well its just me and the dr that run this place and we schedule all patients appointments 45 minutes apart so no one has to wait. she said its hard to be here because every patient that comes here has cancer and we want to be sensitive to what they are going through and try to make this a peaceful environment for them. i thought that is nice of them. but to us it seemed a bit creepy. but they really were nice and the scan was easy. just had to lay there and not move for 20 minutes. easy enough. but it was sad for me because i am now one of their cancer patients. just hard to think about it. i am getting less strong. like today the iv really hurt my arm. i never realized how much i use me neck until i cant. its hard to hold ava. its hard to wash my hair. right now its just hard. today has been hard for me. i have been impatient with justin and i am not sure why. he is doing everything. but i guess days like these are allowed. some friends are bringing over sushi tonight. which we love. i also got two packages, three cards, and a bouquet of flowers. so thank you. i still trust jesus. but today i am a little sad. and these days will come.


  1. Continuing to pray for your heart and healing. Love you.

  2. Libby you are strong...maybe a little tired...and it is ok to have a sad day. Justin will understand your impatience. Relax and get some good rest

  3. Libby, Thus far you have been so patient and kind. I so respect you and Justin for your strength. I prayed and have asked God to give me your pain today. I can take it. I just so hope that you can sleep peaceful this evening. I love you all and just know you are a blessing to me, more than you will ever know.......~Shirl

  4. I truly believe God works in amazing ways even when we dont understand them. He will not give you anything you arent able to handle, continue to have faith. I have felt the turnoil I am sure you are feeling inside. I have felt hearthache, anger, grief, scary emotions as they wheeled my 6week infant away from me for major heart repair after being told it was a 50/50 chance. Simply believe, love your husband, love your daughter, treat every day, every ordinary moment as a treasure. None of us are ganranteed the next second, God is in control. I dont know you, but ,my heart aches for you and your family. You are in my prayers. Melissa

  5. I know you don't know me but I will continue to pray for you.

    just remember:

    suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
    Romans 5:3-5

  6. My Dear Libby,

    "God does not give us what we can handle.He helps us handle what is given to us."

    You have been handling so much in the past days. You deserve a day to be impatient or crabby.
    I am sure even Justin will have some bad days. (but not me..I promise to be on my very best behavior when I get there. Can't say about Dad :)

    We leave tomorrow for Seattle and then to you on Sat. Still haven't got my e-mail working so I am limited to this. Have a peaceful night and sleep like Ava.


  7. I just came across your blog tonight and read it all. So many of the things you wrote touched see, my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Thymic cancer in March of 2009. We, like you, never questioned God, but always knew it was part of His plan. And we have been brought to a new awareness of what it means to have a Heavenly Father who is with us through every good time and bad. After 2 different courses of chemo and radiation, Rod was declared cancer free in April of this year. That cancer, that the doctors deemed incurable, has been removed from his body by our wonderful, awesome, all-powerful God. I will be praying for you as you as you are just beginning this journey. It's not always easy, and it's sometimes scary, but those are the times you just let God pick you up in his big "Daddy" arms and carry you. There no place better to be than that. Blessings to you and your husband and daughter. We will be praying for your miracle.

  8. A bad day for you = a bad day for us. I have missed your laughter today. Will pray for good sleep spooned up with jus...and for a light heart tomorrow.
    We have ava's sweet laugh on repeat in the office tonight!

  9. praying for a better day tomorrow. love you.

  10. My daughter Krystal told me about you Libby. It makes me realize after reading about you how far I've let myself fall away for The Lord. I'd say that I'm ashamed, but being ashamed won't help me accomplish anything. I once had Him in my life every day in a big way. You've inspired me to go back to that. Thankfully I know that He will accept me at any time with open arms. If I may say, you are a very beautiful and spectacular woman, and your husband Justin is fortunate to have you as a wife. I won't speculate about how hard this must be for him but it's not easy I'm sure.

    Thank you for waking me up! My life is no picnic but Christ is always there and I've not been seeking him as I should. I'll commit to finding my way back to a life led by Him today.

    Brad Smith

  11. Dearest Libby,

    Thinking of you and praying for you, as is the entire team from GBPC who went to Nicaragua for the annual mission trip. The Vida Joven team in Nicaragua will also be praying for you. Love you, Elizabeth Phillips


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