Sunday, August 22, 2010

this rainy morning

i got up early today because my sister and drake were leaving for the airport at 8am. ava sometimes starts making noises in her crib around 7 or 730am, but we usually do not get her until 8am or so. 7am is too early for us. but today i got up early so i could be with my sister for a bit. i gave ava her bottle in her chair and its the only time of day while she will lay in your arms and is relaxed. and i love it. after her bottle i went to our blog. justin mentioned when he came to bed last night that he had posted something and i was eager to read it. when i got to the you tube video i showed it to ava while she was playing in her exersaucer and she nearly jumped out in excitement. she started "talking" and we have watched it at least ten times in a row. she loves her self i think. but i cried. i love anything that captures our family in its most tender intimate moments. ava in bed drinking her bottle is one of those moments that i wish i could i could bottle up and save for forever. but i can’t. so our new little video camera will have to do the trick as we document this journey. i do want justin to take a picture at every appointment or anything i think is worth documenting for later. as hard as it has been recently i want to store it all up so we never forget. not even a second of it. its too important i think. this new season of ours. justin makes great videos and i can already envision him putting all the pictures and videos we take into a movie. and maybe we will be the only ones to watch it, but i don't care it will be ours.

thanks justin for loving me. i know the pain is hard for me to endure and maybe harder for you to watch. but we got this. i can already see us on the other side. and ava is doing her concentration face as i write this. my heart hurts with my love for her. i think she is going to be smart. every parents thinks that. but they should.

big week ahead for the ryders. we move tomorrow. tomorrow night we will be sleeping in our new place. cant believe it. i love it. on tuesday i get my port checked and then we see our oncologist for all my test results. and so it begins...


  1. Good Luck with the move! going to go and watch the video of Ava!

  2. we are not going to stop praying, loving, and thinking about you and your family libby
    you all are on all of our hearts and we love you all dearly
    we are all in this together <3

  3. We just met your friends the Grants. Adding your precious family to our prayer list.

  4. Cliff and Laura Wright are in our small group and we are praying for you all and following your journey to beat this:) love to you all.

    Sarah and Matt Rothell

  5. You don't know me, but I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. I have been following your blog for a couple weeks now. I can't remember how I found it exactly. I am also a 26 year old christain mother, so your story hit me hard. My son is 20 months old. I have been so inspired by your faith and stregnth. I can not imagine going through this at our stage of life. Little ones are so dependent on their mommy, but at least she won't remember any of this. Your daughter is precious and I am praying often for you and your family!

  6. Good luck with the move. I will be praying that all that goes well. The timing is probably good and I hope it can be something uplifing for ya'll. Liz said the view is incredible! Enjoy it

  7. Hope all goes well with the move tomorrow. My daughter and I watched the video--it is so sweet--and I got all excited seeing Drakers in it! We have missed him and his mommy, but we were so glad that they were able to spend this time with you. I am praying for your day on Tuesday. We have a busy one too, moving our "baby/Ross" into his new dorm for the first time! Keep taking pictures and video--they grow up way too fast.

    Love, The Holtrops

  8. Libby, You don't know me but a friend of mine posted your blog and I read the ENTIRE thing tonight...I have a "baby Ava" as well except she is now on the verge of her 7th birthday (Aug. 30th) I have cried for you tonight not in sadness but for MANY other reasons! I share with you the love of your child ( I now have 3!) I share with you the love of your family,and I share with you the love of our Jesus... I am now a prayer warrior for you and believe with all my heart that you will be healed. What a gift you have been given to love and appreciate every moment that you have. Many people live their ENTIRE lives and NEVER really appreciate the gifts they are given in simple moments of their day. I would NEVER wish cancer on anyone, but you have been given an opportunity to speak to peoples hearts in a way that most people can't. You have more people than you know following your story, and as a result their lives will be forever changed. Praying for you tonight and from now on...

  9. keep taking picture of everything-it is all(the good, the bad and the mundane) a part of your life and your story. later you will remember and laugh and enjoy making it through those moments.

    good luck with the move and enjoy your new home.

    kim g


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