Tuesday, August 3, 2010

prom night

ava is napping. i just finished cleaning up the house because has have a showing at 5:30pm. pray this place rents asap so we can move to our dream house on the river. i am already decorating it in my head. justin asked me last night while we were laying in bed if he could take me to prom. i said sorry already did that in high school and it was not that cool. he said, no no, i want to take you because i never got to in high school. so tonight we are going to "prom" and bringing our ava of course. she is about to start having too many other people caring for her to she must be a part of it. after my appointments this morning we went to target because two of my best friends sent me a gift card and we picked out a dress for tonight. it helps if you have a target coupon, too. we picked it at the same time. i am real excited. we are going to carabbas. we love italian food. we have a gift card. you may see a pattern here. we usually only go places if we have a gift card. but tonight is going to be special. i can feel it. by the way its day 8 of our date. justin told me last week that we were on one big long date since we heard the news of last monday. and i hope it never ends. even when he has to go back to work and this season has passed. we will never go back to who we once were. not possible. i am thankful for that.

two more things have been my mind in the midst of hundreds. i have often thought how i wish people from my past knew me now. not who i was in middle school or high school or even parts of college. i was a brat, insecure, mean sometimes, self-absorbed, and lost. wow. its embarrassing to think about. but once i really started following jesus i knew i was becoming someone new. the old had gone and the new had come. i am not saying for one second that i have it all together now or anything like that. but i hope that people see me differently now than i was then. anyways, all this to say that since i have started blogging about our recent bump in road (as i like to call it) my inbox is getting flooded with emails. now that it has made its way to facebook i am getting messages from people i have not seen in ten years or people i have not talked to since college graduation. but its funny how things like this bring people together from everywhere. not funny, but maybe joyous because i love reading them. please know that i may not be able to respond but i read them. every single email, card, text, wall post, etc. i look forward to checking my email. thank you for praying for us and loving us. we feel it. we really do and its a gift. it brings me joy in the midst of all this. justin loves it too. jesus is in the business of making all things new and i am so very thankful.

last thing for today. people have been saying things like "you do not deserve this" or "why you?" well first off no one deserves cancer. its not how God works. its not a "deserve" or "not deserve" thing. our world is broken and sinful and therefore tough things happen that we can not explain. what saddens me the most is when things get tough people question God the most. but that is normal and part of the process. i am sure i will be getting angry along way, but i am clinging to what is real. i believe that God is who he says he is. he says trust him. so i do. he says lean not on your own understanding. perfect because i do not understand this one. because his plan is better than my own or our own. i know that right now this is what he wants for us. he could have stopped the cancerous cells in my body, but he didn't. however, today i trust that we are going to beat this and i will be a cancer survivor. but we have only just begun. and we are ready to fight when we have to, cry when we have to, and throw things if necessary to relieve a little stress if we have to. i have prayed for the past few years to be more passionate about jesus. well he is getting my attention with this one. i am not that strong. and you are right i do not deserve this. but who does? if not me than why someone else? this is my story and i proud that it is mine. i just took a break and read an email from my sweet aunt janie in chicago. she is supposed to be working but i think instead she was reading this blog. her email was sweet. i cried and got a lump in my throat. thanks for loving us.

today we got a stack of cards in the mail. wow i was excited when i saw that. keep them coming. like i said yesterday, i love mail. everything about it. thank you for the hundreds of emails, phone calls (i most likely cant return), and many ways people are communicating with us. we appreciate the prayers. lets not stop until my cancer is gone.

11 comments:

  1. I am so excited you are going on a prom date!! I have never been to a prom either and I do hope it is the best ever!!

    Keep trusting God through it all. Although the master plan is unknown at this time, just continue to give it all to God to handle for you. I will continue to pray for you, and ask God that you see many more exciting days. So much is being done with cancer now and positive thinking can do wonders along with God's blessings.

    After a stressful day at work reading your blog encourages me and keeps me in reality. love all of you ~Shirl

    ReplyDelete
  2. Libby, I just ran across your blog and wow, you are so right. What a friend we have in Jesus during times like this and in the regular 'ol days. I'm so thankful you're leaning on Him and finding joy in Him even when it seems tough. He's so much stronger. You're right. Praying for you and thanking God for you in North Carolina, sister.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i finally got to get through all of your posts...i think i am still in the selfish stage of my fear/pain...but i am getting there...i know that God's work is being done...and that is all that matters...lifting you, justin & angel baby ava up today and everyday to come...wish i could be there to watch her...can't wait to c u all next week...loving you over the miles...so comforted that the same sun shining on us in MI was shining on you today in VA...and that we worship & love the same amazing creator who is Lord of it all...luv you sis!! xoxo becky

    ReplyDelete
  4. i always new you were amazing. i love you so much and i am hummbled by your strength. i am so thankful that justin is by your side, you are truely blessed. i pray for you every day, for strength, courage, good days, nights full of sleep, for justin, for ava, for drs, for your new home, for dunkin donuts to arrive on your doorstep. you will beat this, we will beat this. you are not alown, what an awesome thing to know! i will be there soon to laugh with you, to cry with you, to love you, to hug you, to pray with you, to be whatever you need me to be. i am so proud of you and so proud to call you my little sister, a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, friend, aunt, sister. i love you with all my heart and i can't wait to be with you. know that i am always here for you, my sweet, sweet sister...

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are an inspiration. Truly enjoyed reading this, prayers to you all!

    ReplyDelete
  6. If it was prom night, I hope justin splashed on a little of dad's old drakkar noir and that your target dress had some sequins and some puffy sleeves.
    You guys are making us all so strong. I found myself smiling at the thought of your date night tonight. I'm also loving being able to read all of your updates here. You are so brave to share your story with so many. Your story is going to do big things. It already has.

    And, as usual, I love you both and am praying for you... g'night.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hope you and Justin had a wonderful Prom night, and Ava too. ;) You all deserved a special evening out. Love ya! And, we do love you as part of the family Libby, all of us. Prayers coming as always....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Libby, Hi Justin! My name is PJ. Your aunt (Blue Cotton Memory) wrote me about you. She said as when she got your news, she immediately thought of me. I am flattered and thankful. I have a blog called PJ's Prayer Line. I write devotionals, inspiring stories and such, but I also have a section in it called Prayer Line. I receive prayer requests and needs in my comment section and I start praying for them, I place them on the Prayer Line for others to see and start praying for them, and I also lift their names up in church for my church to pray for. That being said, since it is so public, I always ASK before I do it. Some don't want it to be so public, so in that case I will lift them up in prayer myself. I consider myself a "prayer warrior". The Bible says to pray without ceasing" so I stay in a spirit of prayer. The names of those precious people who have prayer needs are constantly on my mind and in my prayers. I would be honored to add you to my prayer list is you will allow me. Also, Justin, please let me say that God did not give Libby cancer. He is a healing God. We go through life as it comes. Sometimes it is the devil that causes trouble and pain, but sometimes it is just what happens in life. God will ALWAYS be there with us. He said He did not promise us a life without pain or sorrow, but that He would help us get through it. I believe He can Heal Libby. According to His word He says to ask anything in His name and it will be done, and He says "by His stripes we are healed". Well, I am asking right now for His healing power to rain down on Libby. I rebuke that cancer in the name of Jesus Christ. God is not a God of sickness. He is the Great Physician. This means He can speak the word and she will be healed. I believe if we show enough faith, He will make her "whole". Not just heal her but make her completely whole again, just as He did the leper. Remember, He healed the lepers so that the disease would stop, but for the one who came back and thanked Him, He made him "whole". He grew back the parts of him that the leprosy took away, and he made him like he was before he became sick. I am praying and believing that He will do that for Libby also. God Bless You both. I know Libby, you are the one with the cancer, but I also know that the affects will run through Justin, Ava and anyone else who loves you, so I add them in my prayers as well. I was so touched by your blog, and I will continue to follow you in your journey. Please be sure and let me know if you will allow me to place you on my Blog Prayer Line for others to pray also.

    God Bless.
    PJ

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do as you promised...that your name will be great forever (1 Chronicles 17:23-24) Libby, we are praying for you and trusting that our Almighty Creator will never cheat those of us of His Creation who depend on His truth. And even more that our Heavenly Father will never break His word to any of His children. It is the everlasting faithfulness of God that makes His promise so great and precious. You are an amazing woman! Thank you for sharing your testimony and what you're going through. We are on our knees praying for His arms to surround you, Justin and Ava!

    I read in my devotion today "Every promise of God's is built on 4 pillars. The first two are His justice and holiness, which will never allow Him to deceive us. The third is His grace or goodness, which will not allow Him to forget us. And the fourth is His truth, which will not allow Him to change, which enables Him to accomplish what He has promised"

    In Christ,
    Christie & Jeremy Thompson
    (Chris's brother/sis-in-law)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Libby:
    Just found your blog from Brit. I'll be praying for you and following along in your journey. I am faithful and truly believe you will be a cancer survivour!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Libby, I am circulating your words on your blog and they are striking like lightning in my family. Keep listening to our Savior. I hate that you are being squeezed but I must say the fine wine is impacting many. May they be even more impacted by your healing!!! We love you prom girl. NEVER STOP DATING!! And....I must say I do love Carrabas!

    ReplyDelete

i read every comment. so please leave one. i love it.