Saturday, February 19, 2011

day 2 of life without cancer. and its good.

i wanted to sit down and write so many times today but the time just never came. we are in richmond, va with all the staff, volunteer leaders, and committee for Young Life. its been huge. we shared our story last night and it was amazing. really. i love telling God's story for our lives. i have been emotional. i am seeing so many people i love for the first time since i got sick. i prayed that i would not feel overwhelmed and it has totally been answered. its all been a gift. i love talking to people here who read the blog or who have been praying for us...its so so so encouraging. this has been the best place to be to celebrate life without cancer. so many people are so excited and genuinely care about our family. its humbling and God is being glorified. which is all we want. we trusted God with my live and He took care of us.

i just left a hotel room that was filled with so many women i love so deeply and for four hours we shared our hearts. our insecurities. our doubts. our pain. our love. our hope. our desires. it was good. so good. i love this. oh how i have missed this. i love being with people. i love sharing my heart. i love telling our story.  i feel chosen. more than ever i feel with so much confidence that God allowed cancer in my body because He wanted to be glorified through it. and i hope He has.

there is so so so much more going on inside me. but i am tired. i have cried too many tears. all of joy. and i need to rest.

for the first time in nearly seven months i feel real genuine deep joy. someone told me today that i have a little skip in my step that they have not seen in months. and its true. even on my good days during cancer chemo was also lurking around the corner. so it was hard to really experience joy. i was happy during cancer but not really joyful. and now i can not stop smiling and rejoicing with the thousand people here that we are cancer free. its true. my body that once was filled with cancerous cells is gone. i can not stop crying. i have known joy until this moment. 


  1. It's so great to read this. A huge weight has been lifted indeed. I think all of us who know and love you have a little more pep in our step now as well.
    So glad you all are having fun.
    Love you.

  2. I am sitting on the front of the boat today. Everyone here at the marina is so happy for you. Many have been following your blog. It is relaxing and peaceful as usual, but even better today because because of your news. Kiss Ava for me. I will see you soon.

  3. Love, love, love reading this very joyous post. You are an inspiration...God is so good.

  4. I can't even imagine how relieved you must feel!

  5. Dear daughter,

    I have been wondering..."Why hasn't she been posting?" what about Justin's challenge to "post eveyday for 7 days?" and her pledge to do that?

    Then I figured you were just so busy in Richmond...And then I awoke to read this post and afterwards re-read the title and had to double check the dates to believe it really could be just Day 2.

    It can't be just 48 days, can it? Really? I feel like I have lived and laughed and grinned and praised and heard from friends and cried with family for weeks, not days.

    Like I've lived throgh a time warp. Can't describe it. But as I consider it, I realize that it has been so full, so fantastic, so fabulous that it takes up more time than a normal 2 days.

    You must live through the rain to relish the rainbow. And God our Father is in the middle of both. His faithfuness is so enormous and eternal. Looking forward to heading to His House this morning and celebrating some more with faithful friends who have walked this path with us and now will share our joy. Praise God!

    And Love you -- Mom

    PS Give Ava an Oma hug for us when you get home. (She'll be fine.)

    PPS Did Matt capture that video? Holding my breath.

    ...and thanks for this post...looking forward to hearing from you each day as it will take discipline to write, now that your life will be so full in a whole new way.

  6. This is so great I am so glad you continue to post! I was at the YL Richmond this weekend and wanted so much to come up to you and tell you how happy I am and that I read your blog and have been praying but we have never met and I figured you were getting that from everyone- didn't want to overwhelm. But Justin spoke at our JMU Sandbridge weekend and I know leaders from Chesapeake so I feel a small connection.
    Thank you for being so real and honest- it has been a huge encouragement to me as a young woman who has struggles yet nothing like cancer.


i read every comment. so please leave one. i love it.