Sunday, March 20, 2011

it finally happened...

for the first time since i started blogging i accidentally deleted an entire post. i have been writing for over an hour and its gone. i just wrote about some big stuff. some things i have been thinking about for weeks and was finally able to sit down and write and take the time to reflect and process this past month. our first cancer free month and its gone. the post is gone. i am not trying to be dramatic...stuff like this happens but i am so mad. furious actually. i had put so much of my heart out there and its gone. i am really disappointed and angry at this current moment. i was about to try again but i got nothing. i was trying to make it sound exactly the same and then it didn't so i will try again tomorrow. but knowing it wont be as good as before. maybe i will surprise myself. i will just try again. enjoy your sunday.

12 comments:

  1. It will come back. Flustrating for sure. In the beginning when each month passes you will be excited. Then the first year and then five years.....you have so much to look forward to, congratulations.

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  2. So sorry :-( I had that happen to and it is heart-sickening!

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  3. dude i hate that and it has happened to me a lot!! hahah nooo just know that maybe those things that you wrote are some things that God wants you to hide in your heart for now, just know that what needs to be said is going to be said when it needs to be said!! i JUST found your blog but i just started leading young life in chesterfield county and we prayed for you at prayer weekend and at committee leader weekend you all announced that you were cancer free, my knees about buckled. i have been weakly praying for my dad who is having a prostate cancer scare -it could be fine, but among other things, i was just letting my heart perpetuate its own unbelief, slowly letting my problems become bigger than God in my mind. Jesus, Lover of my Soul has been a hymn that has really helped me pray for the things i don't have the strength to give words to- "Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick and lead the blind." all of those things have been too big for me to look God in the eye and ask for. i know he can but i never know if he will, but i always know that he wants to. i know you have had your extensive share of this. but i am just so thankful for your testament, seriously it has been so encouraging in the little that i have known you. so to comfort you, one upside to losing all your writing today is that i probably would not have commented to say all this if i didn't deeply empathize with you on lost blog posts hahahah. i'm talking a lot, even though i thought this would be one sentence long. thank you for being so incredibly encouraging with your writing and being so vocal about your walk through all of this because you have really helped God become that all consuming power in my life once again, and i once again have peace, more peace than before, that all my friends and family and future are in his hands. i love you and i thank God so much for you. you are wonderful. Praise God for your failed blog posting. hope to hear from you soon about your incredible life and incredible family and our awesome, awesome God.

    i copied and pasted this elsewhere in case i lose all of it when i post it
    lessons learned
    than you for that

    Lauren Stutzriem

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  4. Maybe suppose to be between you and god? Don't beat youself up. It was part of the grand plan....

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  5. So sorry. I hate it when that happens. Well, at least it isn't like a class with a midnight deadline. Enjoy your day. Look forward to getting together.

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  6. THINK OF IT LIKE THIS LIBBY , THAT POST IS GONE . CANT GET IT BACK THE SAME WAY, JUST LIKE YOUR CANCER AND THAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE IS GONE.

    MEANT TO BE GONE.

    LOVE AND BLESSINGS.
    HEATHER

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  7. Oh no! Please try again. Your blog has been so inspiring. It has made me remind myself not to take anything for granted, to cherish life, health, my husband, baby, family. Please keep writing. Have a wonderful week. I hope it's a beautiful spring week there, and that you can enjoy being outside with that lovely little lady. Looks like the cold weather will be sticking around a little longer in MI. I got to see Becky and Drake just over a week ago. My little boy Matthew was born Jan. 20, 2010.

    Blessings to you and yours,
    Laura Flikkema

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  8. happy thoughts, happy thoughts! stay positive in everything, even the littlest things like blog posts. i have a feeling that with the right attitude, your "re-post" could outdo the original. : )

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  9. You're such a beautiful person with such a beautiful family. I've always loved "trolling" your blog. I'm sure whatever you write to make up for the lost post will be better! Hey, Oprah deleted a whole book she wrote by accident..

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  10. hi sweety. Bea here in Vermont. Just found you. I also have a story to tell. About your post that was deleted by accident, I would say, think of it as the cancer that left. It's gone. GONE.
    God bless you in your new season. I'll read more.

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