8 down and 4 to go. and two sick girls in the house.

to help with my anxiety and throwing up before, during, and after chemo my dr. prescribed me some medicine. and its magically. i only threw up once at chemo and in addition i slept through most of it. perfect. chemo itself was fine. and it went fast. and its one more done and out of my life forever.

when we arrived home from chemo...lots of fun things were waiting. justin's mom had arrived safe and sound from ky. she will be here until monday to help with ava and to celebrate christmas together a little early. and she has been a ton of help as i am feeling much worse than normal. oh, back to the fun things. some flowers has been delivered. thank you. and ava's new pink anywhere chair arrived in the mail from her papa and oma. and her new car seat from pop pop came too. big day for little ava! and she was sound asleep when we got home and then decided to take a 2.5 hour nap. perfect. the rest of the day is a bit foggy. but i do recall rose bathed her. and i put her to bed. and then we all rested upstairs.

today has been hard. ava has decided to throw up both her bottles. one when she woke up. and again after drinking some water and eating some cereal. and then one more time during her morning nap. ahhh. she ate lunch fine. i went to bed and rose played with her upstairs. but she said she wanted to be held and  was a little more fussy than normal. two things about that. ava rarely likes to be held. and she is rarely fussy. but she has no other symptoms. so praying praying its just a one day upset tummy. its just a sick place. my stomach is killing me. i am so nauseous. and i have taken every medication i am allowed to take. so sleep is my only relief. and i am off to do so. this is just hard. its hard because i need to rest and recover but i want to be with my baby too. and although rose is here to help it is hard for me to lay in bed if i hear ava crying. so i got up to bath her after she threw up. and read to her and sang to her before her nap. got up to help with lunch. and then held her and laid her down for her afternoon nap. its hard for me to allow people to help sometimes. but i need to. because we need the help and i know that. its all just hard today. and i just want ava to feel better. honestly that is all i want.

off to sleep. praying both the girls in the ryder house wake up feeling like new.