bittersweet. but mostly sweet.

so today i am 27. and in theory it should be a little bittersweet of a day. i mean i have cancer. that is sad and hard and we hate it. but instead i have chosen to think about all the sweet things about this day and this year. first is justin. he set up a secret photo shoot of ava. our friend matt captured everything about ava that makes ava...ava. i love it. then he made a mini version of the photo collage for next to my bed that says..."momma you are half way there." and yes we are. halfway. thanks for loving me and for you all you do. this is not fake, babe. this is my heart. promise. then comes ava. this is my first birthday where i have been a mom. and words can not even begin to express what she has done to my heart. she is starting to say more and more words. and last week was a big week for her in terms of her vocab. she is growing and she is a joy. (took a little break in my post...jus and i needed to chat a bit...we are back on the same page). actually i am a little sad right now. its hard to celebrate my birthday feeling like i do. but i am trying. really. i promise. from my dear family...thank you for my new hoodie. that i have not taken it off since friday night. kinda gross. but i love it. thank you for our new prints for the bedroom. they are not officially hung yet, but they are resting on the headboard waiting for there permanent home. thanks for my uggs. my favorite clothing apparel of the winter. thanks for my new clothes and my nook gift card and for my nook (not book. its nook. its the barnes and noble e-reader...there was some confusion about that). it is not even 11am and the birthday wishes have already been pouring in since midnight. thank you. this will always be a memorable one. as justin walked out the door for a little lunch meeting he said..."can this be your birthday week?" and i happily replied..."of course, babe."