my mom.

i ended my post last night with this...a now cancer free family. we are still cancer free. i need to remind myself and my mom...it may not be cancer. my mom called my sister from the airport on tuesday on there way to kentucky and asked her to find her a doctor. she wanted to see a doctor because on sunday she had noticed a large mass on her thyroid. huh...since allison knows about three people in louisville and she was not real sure where to start. anyways, we find her a doctor and an appointment was set for wednesday morning. so she goes. her doctor agreed it was a very large mass and thought she needed to have an ultrasound. that happened this morning at 8:30am. we waited. i tried to be optomistic. we all tried not to worry. not assume the worst. this afternoon her doctor called and told her that yes two large masses were found on her thyroid. she called them complex masses. they are not cysts. it is not just fluid. it is something more. but we do not know what yet. a biopsy needs to happen first. so my mom and dad are in the midst of making doctor appointments and deciding if they will go back to washington immediately (they were planning on a 4-5 week vacation beginning with ky, then mi, then hilton head island with my grandparents) or stay in kentucky. or go to michigan (where they lived for 30 years) to get the biopsy done there. they are still unsure. still waiting to speak with her doctors back home. this is a hard time. the unknowns. and the waiting. and the what ifs? the timing seems unfair. this trip was about celebrations. but we will still celebrate. it may just look and feel a little different than we had anticipated. but this is life. the surprises we never ask for. i like to air on the side of. caution..."no one has cancer until its offically diagnosed." but that is not easy. your head tends to go to that place. i can not speak for my family but i am optomistic. regardless though her thyroid will most likely be removed (my moms sister had thyroid cancer two years ago and they removed hers). as we bathed the kids tonight i told my mom and sister...at least we are together. at least you and dad were not alone in washington and we can go down the initial part of this road together. so that is all we know. i feel sad and happy and numb and worried and calm all at the same time. if it is cancer. IF...it is treatable. or so we have heard. i am thankful to be here. for so many reasons. please pray for peace and for clarity and for no more cancer in this family. i love you mom. and my dad too. i am sorry. for what it is worth i am sorry you even have to go down this road.