Rejoice. I say again Rejoice!

i woke up early this morning. i could not sleep. i emailed my doctor and within minutes he called me. he said immediately, "I am calling with good news, Libby!" that was all i needed to hear. but then i asked to be sure, "So i am cancer free?" and he said, "yes, congratulations Libby!"

i hung up and just sat in my bed. i did not react. almost like when we heard i had cancer. i know i have emotion but for some reason i felt nothing. so i text justin asking him to call me asap and that it was good news. he asked, "how do you feel?" and i thought for a second and said, "good. i mean i knew it. i knew it inside that it was gone but this is the confirmation i needed. i feel relieved." he said me too. but i know myself and the emotion will come. its not usually immediate. its like i need a second. well its been over an hour and its sinking in. ava woke up and we got her dressed and justin made breakfast and we really did not talk. we ate on the porch and then my heart began to open up. not with tears but i am beginning to process that i do not have cancer anymore. I DO NOT HAVE CANCER ANYMORE. after we ate we moved inside and go out our computers and our bibles. we read through philippians 1: 12-14. ava played. and my thoughts started racing. i will try and write some of them down. justin is much for articulate than me and a way better writer (see below). i have never wanted pity or to feel sorry for myself or say..."look at me i have cancer." i hope that has been clear through our story. its all i wanted. and God is good. i kept thinking about how thankful i am that He allowed me to get cancer and that through us He has been glorified. He promises He will love us. It is simple. He did not promise me a husband or ava or lots of money or nice stuff or that i would always be healthy and not experience pain. Instead He said He will love me and never leave me. and that has been enough. i may not think that and feel that all the time but i know its true. He allowed cancer at 26 years old, newly married, and with a six month old baby. okay the tears are here now. But in the midst of cancer He carried us through with family, friends, strangers, meals, babysitters, money, cleaning ladies, a house on the water, an easy baby, cards, emails, texts, and a whole ton of people praying. He never left us. not even for a second. I thought this morning that He loves us so much that He trusted us with cancer. That if we gave Him all the glory He would take care of the rest. and did He take care of us! I often think that our story is not that unique or special. people get cancer all the time. and people live and people die. and i found myself feeling guilty that our story of cancer was maybe not as tough as other people's. justin said that was dumb and not to think that. so i will try not too. but we changed. forever we are changed. and i would not trade that for the world. my heart is new. and i am still broken and sinful and clearly imperfect but cancer did something big to me. and to justin. and even though ava is so young i know our family's story will change her too. oh, i pray it does. i just read this post to justin and i sobbed. he said, "yes babe this is so emotional."it sure is. much more to come in the following days as justin encouraged me to write everyday for the next seven days. so we never forget. 

From Justin...

Today I ran out of a Wyld Life club to answer my phone…Libby said, “It’s good news.” I came straight home. “I’m cancer free”. I went out to our porch and it’s so warm. It feels like Spring. She is cancer free.

I looked at the water and thought about my Dad’s houseboat and the peace of it, and the last 6 months. Tears filled my eyes. God has done it. I really didn’t know what to say. I made us breakfast. I don’t know what to say but it all wells up inside me. My stomach is twisting. Nothing has changed – we live by God’s love and his purpose – and everything has changed – because prayers have been answered! She is well. But we will let nothing change. We are brand new people because of this, and that we welcome.

Even though so many mistakes have been made – we have not been perfect - I can say with integrity: It was all FOR HIM. And Libby wanted it to be. She did not want attention. We just wanted this to be NOT IN VAIN. We didn’t want to waste it. And God has not wasted it. I think about the 1,000’s of messages we have gotten about people being built up and encouraged, and much more bold to speak the Word without fear! All Glory to God -- He met our needs and then some. And then some. And then some.

This would have been worth it – even if it took 25 years to see the fruit. But O how it has COME DAILY ! That is GRACE that we didn’t deserve, but received.

I will speak the Word without fear – never stopping. I don’t ever want to stop, because of fear, or because of anything. It’s a life that we are seeking that’s based on ONE idea.

“It is our eager expectation and hope that we will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage, now as always Christ will be honored in our bodies, whether by life or by death.” Because of God’s healing hand now, I pray He would continued to be honored in more LIFE. Thank you Lord.

God Bless you for praying for us, and thank you. They have been answered in more ways than you can imagine in Libby’s body and in our hearts. 


ps...we will be meeting with our doctor next wednesday the 23rd to talk about what is next...