Friday, January 7, 2011

our little girl is one.

honestly i can not believe it. our little ava is one. and ava...i have not even begun this post and i am already crying.  even though we were a bit surprised when we found out you were growing in my belly. the lord was way ahead of us. because i am not sure i would have been able to keep myself together through this season of life without you. really sweet ava. its true. i think about this a lot. how easy it would be to just sleep and read and stay inside when i was sad or sick. but because of you no matter what i had to get up. i had to keep moving. take care of you. feed you. play with you. read to you. teach you. rock you. bathe you. and kiss you. and kiss you. and kiss you some more. thanks for being so flexible. and easy. and fun. and how you scrunch your face sometimes. and smile with your six little teeth showing. and how you come to me when you are sad or hurt or scared or you want to cuddle. you have been the greatest gift in my cancer. well besides your dad. but its about you today. and i love you so much that my heart aches. it literally aches over you. 

you decided to arrive a few days late. and although it was so hard for us to wait and wait...we knew you would come when you were ready. and girl you were ready. i labored through the night and before we knew it my contractions were only one-two minutes apart. so we got ready and daddy packed the car and we were on our way. and when we got to the hospital you arrived a few hours later. it was calm (after i got the epidural). we turned on the ipod and daddy and i talked. all about you. and what you would look like. and how you would act. there were so many unknowns. but we knew that you would be coming into a family that was full of lots of love. see your dad and i love each other a lot. like a lot a lot. but when you came into this world...you changed everything. in the best possible way. thank you for teaching me how to love in a new way. a deeper way. and we became a little team you and i. we did everything together. and although i wish cancer was not a part of our story. it is. and we can not change it. but you will not even remember this time in your life. but i will. and my sweet little ava...you helped me through this. so thank you sweet baby.

ava's first birthday party. in louisville, kentucky. 1.1.2011

party favors.

gelato. your cousin isabella's favorite.

your cake. but you could not actually eat since it had eggs. but we got you a special one.

you kept that flower on your head for most of the party. nice job little one.
sweet lexington friends. 

cousin drake and aunt becky. (sorry allison the one of you and i was not that cute)
and sara we did not even get one taken. sad.

you devoured that cake. nice work.


your little scrunch face. love it.

opening presents. and i seem way more excited than you.

nope i am way way more excited in this one.

your sweet little cake.

you loved it.

little ella. your favorite girl cousin. oh, i hope more than anything that you two are close.
 even states away. you will love each other dearly.

momma and ava.

ella and wadey eating some gelato.
i love you ava. you and me. we make a good little team.
sweet ava. not only do your mommy and daddy love you more than they know how to express. but you have so many people who love you. your family all over the country. your friends in va, ky, mi, many other places.  you are so special to so many people. and we hope that not a day goes by where you do not feel that love deep inside you. thank you for the joy you bring to our lives and so many others. you really have been the greatest gift to our family. we love you ava.

22 comments:

  1. she's ADORABLE! ahh! love those hair bows!

    i stumbled upon your blog and was really interested in your story and read a bunch of your old posts. you are so inspirational and such a strong woman! looking forward to reading about your journey..i just had to comment beforehand :)

    xoxo keep the faith girl! your daughter is beautiful!

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  2. Libby first off I cried through this post! Happy tears and some sad ones.....I know all to well what you are going thorough because I am going through similar with DM and chemo infusions and you said it so perfect when you said GOD knew what he was doing because without your little girl it would be easy to just pull up the sheets and stay in bed, I too am so lucky for our little Kelcee and she has helped me through this more than she will ever knwo!! Ava looks so gorgeous in her outfit and girl that header pic of her in the tutu is to presh for words she looks like a porcelain doll just gorgeous....I love the party favor sodas and Gelato how fun!! You look amazing BTW and totally glowing and girl I too was more excited about opening gifts this KElcee on her fist B_Day LOL

    xoxo
    Sums

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  3. Happy Birthday Sweet Ava! Can't believe you are 1!! So glad we could help you celebrate while you were in KY! May the Lord continue to bless you throug this next year of life. Jack and Wadey say Happy Birthday and send lots of hugs and kisses! We love you Ava!

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  4. happy birthday sweet little ava! can't wait to meet you someday and kiss those little cheeks!

    i hope you and your sweet parents have the most fabulous day together :)

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  5. Tearing up over here...Happy Birthday Ava! Libby, you have been marked by love. Isn't amazing how our children can do that? I love all the pics from Ava's party and you look great friend. I love you and your sweet family.

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  6. happy 1st birthday little Ava!!!

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  7. happy first birthday beautiful girl! we are so blessed to have you in our family...we had such a great time celebrating at your party...thanks for such a fun time! keep taking good care of your mommy...drake & i are really excited to come and see you soon!! xoxo aunt becky & cousin drake

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  8. Happy Birthday Ava...so glad your Mommy felt good to celebrate Christmas and your birthday with you! Amazing how kids can get us through the most difficult things in our life, right? Enjoy!

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  9. I have a feeling that even after your cancer is long gone your family will always hold a special place in our hearts. It will be so fun to watch Ava grow up over the years.

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  10. Happy Birthday Sweet Baby. You look great Libby. Prayers for you and your cute little family.

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  11. Sending happy birthday wishes to you Ava! We love you so much and are so thankful you were born. You are more special than you know...just the right mix of your delightful mommy and daddy.
    Have a fun day...play with your new toys, watch Baby Einstein until your eyes cross, eat puffs until you explode, take a bubble bath, all the things that make you scrunch your little face up in sheer delight.
    Hugs and kisses...
    Tommy, Sara, Isabella, & Jack

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  12. What a beautiful post. As much as I love the pictures, they can't beat your words Libby. There is nothing like the love you have for your child...you love them so much, sometimes it hurts...in a good way. We feel so blessed to have the three of you in our extended Virginia family. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE AVA!

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  13. Happy 1st Birthday sweet Ava. I hope you, mommy and daddy are having a great day! We are so glad we got to celebrate with in Ky. last weekend. Sending lots of Love!!
    Todd and Marlo

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  14. Libby,
    Her party looks adorable. I love it! I am so glad that God has blessed you with such an amazing little girl.

    Also, please tell me where you got the gelato cart? Is it in Louisville only?

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  15. Happy Birthday Ava! Love the decorations, outfit, EVERYTHING! So cute!!!

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  16. Your little girl is so adorable...and her party looked absolutely awesome! Just wait until after this "chemo-haze" clears a bit...they get sooo much more fun!
    ps. Your hat is sooo cute. Very stylish and totally works!!! Keep it up girl!
    xoxo from So. Cali!

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  17. Happy Birthday Sweet Ava!! You are such a blessing to all of us - but especially to your Mom and Dad. Love you. Precious pictures!!!

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  18. This post was so precious, Libby! You are such an amazing mom to sweet lil Ava! What a great gift for her to see all the pictures and enjoy all the loving words later on!
    You both look so cute! We loved the one on the blog with her tutu. She needs to be in a magazine for sure!
    Love you;)

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  19. Happy Birthday Ava!
    So glad you and Justin were well enough to travel to Kentucky. I am sure family and friends were so glad they got to see you and share in Ava's birthday.
    I continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  20. I found you on Kelle Hampton's blog. I just had a few moments to read some of your blog and cried. My mom had breast cancer and my heart aches for you knowing what you are dealing with. You are such a strong woman and keeping your faith and trust in God along with your positive attitude will carry you through. I am so inspired that you have found that this chapter of your life is meant as a blessing, a lesson, and not a curse. You will emerge braver and stronger than ever before. I look forward to following your story. :)

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  21. Yuliya from Springfield, MOMarch 27, 2011 at 1:59 AM

    Hello Libby,
    I accidently found your blog but I know the Lord has brought me for a reason. It is almost 4 am where I am and for the past few hours I have been sitting here reading your story. You are such an inspiring and strong woman I do not even know how to describe how I feel. You really helped me open my eyes and reading through your post made me cry, the uncontrolled crying which i really needed. I am only 21 years old, but let me tell ya life has had its ups and downs for the past few years. Because of you I was able to get on my knees and pray in a way which I haven't been able to in a very long time. And I want to say thank you for that. I pray for you and your family to stay strong and your faith has encouraged mine. God bless you.
    P.S. Your little girl is just too precious. I have a daughter as well, Sophia, and she just turned two...isn't it amazing how our children keep us going.Keep shining, your words really touched my heart. :)

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