a little bit of everything. but mostly allergies.

we are excited to announce that we can have babies again! it is for sure. we are thrilled. not sure how to express how i feel. just thankful and joyful. back in august (if you missed it read HERE) we were told we might not be able to have children after chemo. but i am happy to report that we know for sure now that i am good to go. praise God. we still need to wait at least one to two years since my last PET scan to try and get pregnant. just in case of cancer returning. but the chance of that is minimal. so now we will patiently wait until we get the go ahead from dr. lee to start trying for another little baby. but at least we know that my body is physically able to get pregnant again. we are so thankful. what a joy. one more thing to celebrate.

if you missed our june sponsors check them out HERE or on the right of the blog. there buttons link right to each site. some good stuff and some great deals for our readers. if you are interested in advertising with us. send an email to libbyryderblog@gmail.com

allergy update on ava. back in october (read HERE) ava had a pretty bad reaction after eating some scrambled eggs. we found out later that day she is allergic to eggs and peanuts. bummer. however, we started giving ava things to eat with eggs cooked in it and she did just fine. so it is pretty much no french toast or eggs (scrambled, fried, etc) for little ava. then a few weeks ago she ate some mustard and had a mild reaction all over her face. i gave her benadryl and she was fine. we were supposed to take her in to see an allergist shortly after her reaction. well between my chemo schedule and life. we finally went on thursday. it was a sad visit. i documented it a bit with my iphone. so they are not great. but just give you an idea of how our visit went.

just reading her book. no idea of what's about to happen.

so she is playing and reading her books while we wait. she especially likes this little corner of the office. she was playing a little peek-a-boo. then two nurses come in with a large tray of different things they are going to test on ava's back. they do seven total. i told ava. face to face. one nurse holds her arms around me and i hold her head while the other nurses does seven pin pricks on her back. ava really was a champ during that part. it was quick and not that bad. the worst was that i had to hold her like that for 15 minutes. specifically i had to hold her wrists so she would not reach around and inch or rub her back. maybe for some kids this is not big deal. but ava does not necessarily love to be held. especially when her hands and arms are confined. they did give her a lolli pop and that distracted her for about 5 minutes. now she is mad. so we sing wheels on the bus, itsy bitsy spider, old macdonald. she is not up for singing. the nurse hears her crying and comes in with bubbles. well sorta good but not that good. because now i can not hold her arms anymore and she wants to blow them. it is getting worse because it is more more thing i am not able to let her do. she wants her arms and to get down. neither of which i am able to let her do. i manage to get over to my purse and grab her stickers. our saving grace. she loved it. seriously parents get stickers. they have helped us survive flights, road trips, and now allergy tests.

we did it. we made it 15 minutes without touching her back. after looking at her back the doctor tells us she is still very allergic to eggs. peanut is pretty mild but advised us to wait until she is two and bring her in and they will test her again. so still no peanuts. to our surprise her reaction to mustard was pretty significant. so mustard seeds for ava. but the doctor is hopeful she will out grow them.

we chat a bit about what this means and then a nurse comes in to go over using an epi pen and some other information. if you babysit ava ever plan on getting trained on how to use an epi pen next time you watch her. we were told that just because her initial reaction to eggs and mustard was only hives it does not mean the next reaction would be the same. it could be much worse. which is a little scary. but we now have several epi pens. so hopefully we are as prepared as we can be. now ava is free to walk around. shirtless. her fav.

we head home for a popsicle and a wagon ride. we survived. so thankful i was just taking her to see the allergists. i know many parents have it much worse. it does something to your soul to see your child in pain. this is minor. it could be much worse.

do not forget father's day tomorrow. ava and i sure haven't. we have a few surprises coming daddy's way tomorrow.

enjoy your weekend. it is gorgeous here.

the beach.

jack likes to give hugs. so does ava. but they have a little bit of a love hate relationship. mostly love though. sara told me that ella had been talking about ava pretty much non stop the entire drive down. i love that she loves ava so much and they really only see each other a few times a year. but you would never. it really is incredible. most nights ella would ask if she could help us put ava to bed. so she would come in and say her prayers with us.  one night she even got to come with me when i laid ava down in her pack n play. big deal. if you watched the video then you might recall when ella said one of her favorite things about vacation is that ava might sleep with her. a sleepover clearly.  she asked every night if she could please sleep with baby ava. these girls are going to be close. no matter what the distance ella will get to have her sleep over with ava when they get older. i love a good sleepover and i am 27.

most nights we would stay on the beach as long as we could. it's the best time of the day. not so hot. not too busy. perfect for a little frisbee with unky, pop pop, and uncle tommy.

pop pop. thank you for making this vacation happen. we appreciate it so much. i love how ava says. "pop pop." it's precious. thank you for helping with ava and playing with her in the ocean and taking her to the pool. i love that these memories of the beach are starting so young. she will never know life without family vacations with her pop pop (and papa and oma next month). it really is so so special. thank you for praying. reading and commenting the blog. for visiting. for my nook. i loved that when we watched the vacation video you said your highlight of the week was dinner at margartiaville when we talked about me being sick and this past year. that was a highlight for me too. i like to relax and hang out. but i also love to go deep. hear people's hearts. be genuine and be real. thank you for praying for us while i was sick. you said it was probably the most you have ever prayed in your life. thanks for being committed to us. thanks for the extra hugs this week. just to tell me your liked my short hair and how healthy i looked and how grateful you are that i was healed. we are too. we love you.

 

capturing baby boy floyd. we are anxiously awaiting your soon arrival. 

ava is pretty attached to me. we are working on that. we are buddies. but this week changed a little bit. ava started cuddling up to daddy and since it's a special occurrence we had to document it. since getting home from the beach ava talks about daddy all the time and he is the first person she asks for in the morning or when she hears the front door open and goes running to get daddy. i love that.

ella. you are a very special little girl. you have loved baby ava since the second your mommy told you she was growing in my belly. i told sara that after spending a week with you at 3.5 years old i have figured out why you are such a special a little girl. although there are many reasons i want to share a few with you. you love people really deeply. you have a genuine concern for other people and at 3 that is unique and something to treasure. also thank you for telling me you liked me new hair cut and that you thought it was pretty. another glimpse of your thoughtful heart.  here were a few times this week where you would come up to me and say..."aunt libby i love you so much." one time was after we watched the video unky made of vacation and we were all a bit emotional and i said..."okay we need to get ava to bed quick." to which you say, "what about her prayers. can i help? oh, aunt libby i just love you. so much." my heart melted and i teared up thinking about how much i hope that our little ava will care for people the same way you do. so deeply. so intentionally. you share with ava. you let her pull your hair (which i do not condone. we are working on that). any time ava did something that she was not supposed to...you would look at me and say, "it's okay aunt libby she is just a baby." you gave her a special gifts every morning. the first thing you asked in the morning was "where is ava? is she awake? can i go see her?" i am thankful you are her cousin. her only girl cousin. but already someone i hope she looks up to and wants to be like. pretty soon that age difference between you and ava wont seem so big. you will want to lay out together at the beach away from us. go shopping without us. meet boys (which we will not allow). probably hate wearing matching outfits (that will be a sad day sara). have sleepovers. tell secrets. and get to know each other and have a special relationship that only you two can have. unky and i are so thankful for you and your sweet life and how you growing up to be such a big girl. we love you ella.

babe. this vacation was a little different for us. figuring out that it is not necessarily relaxing all the time as we chase ava around the beach and play with her in the pool. last year she was not mobile yet so this week took on much more. it is much more about the kids and not us. which is ok. more than ok. it is the season of life we are in and we love it. but we can not really read, lay out, and talk like we have in the past. but it was good. just a different good. you spent so much time making videos and although i missed you coming to bed late on a few nights...please know how much i treasure those memories. that we will have forever.  i think we are becoming more and more of a team. with defined roles. i get ava out of her wet bathing suit for her nap. you make lunch. you start the bath i give her one and you get her dressed so i can get ready in peace for 3 minutes. we take turns running after ava and taking her in the ocean. it is great. it is a lot. it is tiring. but it is good. thankful to be well and celebrating with you. lets never stop. even when we forget. maybe for a second about the year we just had. lets always come back to what we are about and who we want to become. i love you and i love that you are funny. the funniest person i know. so thankful i have you.

 

matching dresses for the girls from one of our great sponsors. neve inspired.

my baby. this was our first vacation as a family since i was sick. what a joy it was to be with you and daddy for an entire week. no interruptions. just us. i love that. it is my most favorite time. kind of like when we get snowed into the river house back in december. i love seeing you in a new place. you thrived in to. loving the ocean, the sand, the pool, late night dinners, long naps in the afternoon because we wore you out. you have a lot of energy little one. sometimes it's hard to keep up. but i love that you are strong and independent. although this week showed me some things we need to work on...like sharing, the occasional hit, etc. you are learning. how to share and how we just want to keep you safe. thank you for bringing such life and joy into our lives. it really is incredible. you are tough too. you fall and come right back up. all week pop pop said you reminded him of daddy when he was young. i think that is because you are always busy, strong willed, and sometimes not the best listener. but i also hope it means that you love adventure, love life, and love deeply. you are giving kisses more and more and i could just eat them up. i love you sweet ava.

the floyds. thanks for my i phone. that's about it. just kidding. thank you for loving us. through photography by sara. mail while i was sick. comments on the blog. that one time when you both came to visit and i accidentally booked your flights for the next month. opps. thanks for not being mad. for sending text messages. an impromptu trip to naples with us. because we like a blog. for praying. i know this whole c thing. i wont say the word sara since you hate it. was not easy. sara, you shared your heart with me a little on friday night as we packed to go home. thank you for checking on me often when i was sick. even if i did not pick up the phone or return a text. thank you for loving ava as if she were your own. we love the special ways you love our family. i count it such a gift to have an incredible family. but then i married justin and added another incredible family to my life. it is just a little bonus to marrying justin. thank you for loving me like a sister would. since you have said before that you never thought you would have a sister...but i hope you see that in me. i miss being close to my family after trips like this one. you have two pretty amazing kids. sorry that ava is not the best at sharing. pulled ella's hair and was maybe a little too rough for jack. we are working on it. we both really look up to you both on how you parent your kids. thanks for giving that to us. maybe without even knowing. we are thankful for all you have done for us. we love you.

thank you shirl for joining our journey from afar. with emails. texts. cards. blog comments and facebook messages i felt like you really took the time to let us know you were thinking about us and praying for us. we appreciate it so much. thank you for all your help this week with the kids. you really have a servants heart. especially when it came to the set up and taking down all the beach stuff everyday. specifically when it came to thunderstorms that easily would have blown it all away. you really served us well by taking the time to do that. we appreciate you.

sweet little jack. i love you. i love your smile and your sweet voice. you are talking, talking, talking and i love it. first off. sorry about ava. i know she can be a little much for you sometimes but i know you too will be good friends as you get older. i am excited to see you become more of a little man. you are such a risk taker. with playing in the ocean and jumping into the pool. it's incredible to see how much you have grown since last year. there is a big jump from 14 months to 26 months. you really are so sweet and loving and you give some real good wet kisses. we love you jack.

 

one of my favorite pictures of the week.

this week was about celebrating and that we did. 

until next year...

celeb status. i am joking. seriously. i am not that cool.

on our way to flordia last week we almost missed our connection. not because we had a short layover but because we decided to sit down and eat lunch at tootsies in the nashville airport and get starbucks. as we were walking to our gate i realized our flight was boarding. justin went ahead with ava and i got the tags for the stroller. as i am walking up to give my boarding pass to the attendant i realized i was the last official person to get on this plane. as i was walking to my seat someone says to me..."are you libby?" to which i say, "yes, i am." "i thought it was you. i saw ava and then i saw you. i read your blog." i asked what her name was and said something like thank you for the reading the blog. i was in a bit of a panic and little distracted since there was only one seat left on the plane. so justin and i could not sit together but he right in front of me. then the flight attendant gets on the speaker and says, "the plane is too full (overweight) and three people need to get off. so if you have flexible travel plans we can get you on a later flight OR this is when i secretly freak out..."the last three people that got on the plane will need to get off." um, that was me and we did not really have flexible travel plans nor was southwest able to get us to panama city that day. so 5-10 minutes pass and they are really encouraging people to volunteer but no one does. i am still freaking out plus justin and i are passing ava back and forth because girl is going nuts. middle of her nap time. finally. this couple with a young children plus she is pregnant volunteer. talk about real nice people. the bonus was that they were sitting next to justin so when they got off we got three seats to ourselves. incredible since ava was totally "that" kid on the airplane. not the whole time but she definitely had her moments of screaming. not crying. screaming. i was a little embarrassed. when you are flying and a child is crying. try not to get mad or annoyed with the parents. they too wish their child was not screaming on the airplane. i have gotten looks before from people...like do something. and i think to myself clearly i am doing and have done whatever i can to keep this little girl entertained, fed, and distracted during this entire flight. thankfully for ava her little fit only lasted a few minutes and other than that she did so well on all the flights. i digress. so after getting settled in i go back to talk with ashley.  we chatted a bit. she had seen our blog posted on facebook and that's how she started reading. she is from missouri i think. but it was just so cool to meet someone i did not know who reads the blog. thanks for introducing yourself ashley and following our story. means a lot. justin even snapped a quick picture of us with our girls at baggage claim. clearly ava was not interested in getting her photo taken.

yay for finally arriving in panama city. beach pictures to come...

our dear friend grace.

i wanted to give a little shot out to grace.

we met her and her family when we first moved to chesapeake. we actually stored our entire u haul worth of belongings in there extra garage while we looked for a place to live. her parents are on our young life adult committee and love us so well. her mom was actually at our house when we got the call about my cancer. grace has a sister, abigail and a brother jonathon. has been one of justin's main young life guys since we moved her. abigail was my young life girl and we have a led a few camp trips together too. such a great family and so dear to us. they have huge hearts.

a few months ago i received this email from grace:

First of all, let me say congratulations! You're done.

 I know you get hundreds of emails, so I'll try to keep this short. I wanted to thank you for keeping up with your blog for the past 6 months, it really spoke to me. You've been such an inspiration - you have no idea. There were many times when I'd start to question him - and then read your blog and realize that if you could trust him throughout your cancer experience, then I really had no reason to not trust him about anything going on in my life. I feel like people are always telling each other to trust Jesus, but its so refreshing to see someone so openly actually doing so. 
  I'm writing not only because I'm SO happy you're finished with chemo, but also because of my involvement with Team in Training. I know you're familiar with the Light the Night walks that the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) sponsors, and Team in Training (TNT) is similar. Except instead of organizing walks, TNT trains (slightly crazy) people for "endurance events" - mostly marathons, half marathons and triathalons. In exchange, the participants raise money for LLS. I ran my first marathon in Vancouver last spring with TNT, and raised almost $4000 for LLS. 
 After Vancouver, I swore I'd never run another race for charity again - I really, really hate asking people for money. When I found out you had lymphoma I felt like God was kind of pushing me to do another TNT race. I ignored it. And then Nick was also diagnosed with lymphoma - and I felt like he was again strongly suggesting I sign up. Again, I ignored it. And then, my boss at work told me I should get more involved at Barclays, with some of our internal networks. That same day that I got an email about the Barclays running team teaming up with TNT. Coincidence? I don't think so.

 So, I'm back for round 2 this year. I'm training to run the San Diego half marathon or full marathon in June (haven't decided which yet), and my goal is to raise at least $3000 for LLS. As much as I hate asking people for money, this is an organization that I really believe in and feel a personal connection to. I was wondering if you would mind if I ran in honor of you? TNT encourages us to pick someone who inspires us, and run for them. It helps us remember that we're not out running 18 miles in 10 degree weather because its fun, or because we're trying to lose weight, or there's a cute guy in our pace group - we're doing it to help raise money and hopefully find a cure for leukemia and lymphoma. I can't think of someone who has been more inspiring to me over the last year.  I know so many other people who would love to read all about your journey, and I'd like to share it with them.
 And hey, once you get all you energy back - if for some nutso reason you decide to take up running, I'll be the first to volunteer to run with you. You beat cancer....after that, a marathon would be a piece of cake.
  
well grace did it. she ran and ran and ran. i always think it's crazy when people say that if i can beat chemo...running is nothing. well i feel the opposite. running seems way harder. i stopped running by the way. but going to start back up tomorrow. seriously. i will.

a few days ago after the race i got this email from grace.

So…..San Diego. It was an incredible weekend – I really wish you and Nick could have seen it. Since the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon is to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS), Team in Training (TNT) teams from all over the country are there. There were over 3,000 TNT runners at this particular race (the NYC chapter sent about 200) who raised over $9 million while training for the race.
 For all TNT races, there is a dinner the night before the race that they call the Inspiration Dinner – it’s a nice dinner with hundreds of people who are running with TNT and we share our stories and our reasons for running. TNT calls them mission moments. We also have a mission moment before every practice, so we usually know each other’s stories end of the season. At the dinner, one of the honored participants usually tells their story – honored participants are people who have/had some form of blood cancer and are also competing in our event. It’s a really emotional and touching dinner, and reminds us why we’re there. After the dinner we decorate our TNT singlets.

My first 8-9 miles felt great – there was a ton of crowd support and I was excited and the weather was still cool. I was running with two good friends from TNT who I’d done nearly all my long training runs with. The next 9 miles were really hard. The three of us girls were separated by then, and there was a long stretch on a highway that was slanted which definitely took a toll on my knees/hips…not to mention it was getting hot and the sun was reflecting off of the blacktop making the heat even worse. I had a time goal going in the race, but knew I would need a nearly perfect day to run that fast. I got to a point where I had to decide between really going for my goal and being miserable for the last 10-12 miles, or relaxing, slowing down a little, and trying to enjoy the end of the race (as much as you can possibly enjoy miles 16-26 of a marathon). I decided that to enjoy it. I’ll run for my time goal when I do the NYC marathon in November. Our coaches were all out on the course towards the end and would jump in and run for a mile or two with us, giving us pep talks if we needed them. I had friends who had finished the half marathon earlier in the day and they were out there cheering for us (one of them even ran miles 23-25 with me). It was really great to have people out there for the end of the race to keep me company and distract me from the fact that I had literally been running for four hours. I can’t imagine completing a race like that alone. I know you don’t really run, but if you ever decide to start (Nashville half next year?!) I can’t recommend TNT enough – I’ve done two races with them (and I’m signed up for another marathon and a triathlon) and I’ve had great experiences. I’ve done a lot of work with LLS in general and I’m really impressed with the organization and the people.

thank you grace. there are no words really. thank you for running. training. flying to san diego. being committed and listening to the nudging to run. even though you may not have wanted to do it in the beginning. i am thankful for you, your family, and your friendship. for what it's worth. i am real proud of you for doing it.

one the most incredible things since getting sick is seeing how different people show their love and support.  it's all so unique to who they are and i love that. not everyone sends cards, or packages...but people sent meals, ran races, wrote emails every chemo day, commented on the blog, sent texts, babysat, took pictures, came to visit and care for us, called never expecting a call back, wore team libby bracelets, prayed. lots of that. thank you to those you that went the extra mile to care for us. in whatever way it was...they all meant so much because it was special to who you are...whether we know you or not. i have been writing a few things about cancer, not for the blog really and am also reminded of much we were loved through cancer. mostly because of this blog. people walked alongside us from all over the world. whether they knew us or not. it still leaves me in awe. i think it always will.

our beach baby.

our little girl. we think you are stunning. thank you for making your daddy and i so proud. 

you are so very precious to us.

aunt sara floyd photography knows how to take some seriously good pictures.
do not miss the video justin made of our vacation. click HERE

panama city beach.

hopefully you all figured that the lack of blogging meant we were having too fun. it was true. that and no laptop and still trying to figure out my new iphone (thanks again floyds).

but it was an incredible week. i will write more about that tomorrow or maybe tonight. we are currently sitting in the airport waiting for our next flight. thankfully little ava is sound asleep in the stroller thanks to her daddy. he took her on a long walk around the airport.

justin is thinking about starting up a little video business. well not little. hopefully it will be huge one day. he really has a gift. he spent a lot of this free time this week creating a video of our entire vacation. its pretty incredible. he made one last year and now our family is hooked. we need a family video for every vacation. they are priceless.

justin just sat down next to me and said, "i want this to be your best blog post yet." well i am not ready for that. i am cold and real sleepy. but tonight. back at the river house when we are upstairs relaxing. then it will come. i know it.

but this week was huge for me. just the gift that it is to be alive and to be with family. to celebrate. run after kids (i will not pretend to be super mom. i for sure get real tired of running after ava who is afraid of nothing. but i would run after her forever.) play in the pool. sit on the beach at sunset...the best part of the day in my opinion. baths with ava after a long sandy day on the beach. walking around pier park. dinner outside. i love eating outside. and so much more. there are moments when i forget. forget that i was ever sick. but it's when i sit back and reflect and think about what could have been. i get a lump in my throat. take a deep breath and remember that is not how it ended. but with life and beaches and family and playing in the ocean. watching ava explore and learn and say words for the first time. like vater for water. or ack for jack. or pop pop for pop pop. or whatever it is she says for airplanes. not sure how to spell that. but she loves airplanes and helicopters. the resort offered helicopter rides and she watched them in awe all day long.
 
it was good. so good. i have a hard time returning to life back at home and responsibilities and schedules. so i wont do it yet. but instead eat airport food. play on my phone. and think about this past week and all that it meant to me. justin. ava. and our entire family.

enjoy. best video yet. thanks babe. i love you.

SEE VIDEO HERE

top ten.

top ten things we are loving about family vacation at the beach. in no particular order.

1. sea salt and cracked black pepper snyder's pretzels.
2. ava and isabella in matching monogrammed bathing suits.
3. sitting on the balcony chatting.
4. everyday from 1-3pm (all three kids are napping)
5. my new iphone baby. thanks tommy and sara.
6. our bathroom being big enough for ava's pack n play so she does not have to sleep in our room.
7. late night dinners (guy harvey's garlic bread).
8. a new gift every morning for ava from aunt sara.
9. going back and forth between beach and the pool. depending on how the kids are acting.
10. celebrating life cancer free and being with our dear family. especially seeing ava with her pop pop.

here is a little video from vacation so far...enjoy.
PRESS HERE