Friday, May 4, 2012

friendships.

let's start with pure joy. thank you narnia girls for loving her so well today.


lately i have felt different. like i am experiencing my own life in a new way. i feel more myself than i have in a while. i bit more comfortable in my own skin. i certainly have missed it.  the last year and half was an out of body experience for me. i mean i was alive. i was moving. i was present. i am well aware of what happened and where we were and where we are and the changes we have walked through. but i finally seem to be catching my breath. able to feel secure and confident and peaceful. not all the time. i still struggle with being myself and feeling totally comfortable and not worrying about what people think of me or don't think of me. but i am seeing the light. i am hopeful. i have hope for this new town. these new people. this new beginning. i love relationships. i am thankful for the friendships that span across the country. but this new place in life has left me stuck in many ways. finding myself more considered about people's opinion than being true to who i am. i am not that confident or that strong or that sure of what i am. let's just get that out there. it's freeing to be honest. i have struggled with even knowing who i am this year. so that all seemed to collide when we moved somewhere new and i carried this heavy weight of...i feel like i am supposed to be all of these things and i am not sure what that is so in turn i am failing because i am not sure of who i am or what i am about. please do not miss this. i know that in Christ i am full and complete. i hold these truths close. i find my foundation in that. but since i am a little bit of a mess and do not have it all together i felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. not every second or every day or every week...but it was always lingering. this horrible pressure. that no one put on me...but me. which seems to be the case most of the time.

but the hope. the glimpse i have been living out this past week or so has given me such life. such vision. such peace and such joy. today after a few leaders left our living after a great couple hours of talking and connecting and lots of..."yes...totally...i agree...i feel the same way..." i felt alive. i felt like screaming...YES...this is what it is about. talking. connecting. ava running around without pants on b/c she is working the whole potty thing and she screaming and jumping and then sometimes a little too quiet (to which i found her reading in her room...precious). this is life. this is freedom. this is being a mom while walking alongside so many people i care so deeply for. i felt like myself and it was natural. i have missed natural and easy. justin and i had dinner with some new friends last night and for nearly four hours we sat around the table and talked and shared stories and a new friendship was born. all the while our two little girls playing and laughing and literally destroying the house. but they were living. doing what kids need to do and should do.

these are just two examples of where i have seen a shift. a shift from being a little wounded and overwhelmed with life. again, not all the time...but whether it was on the surface or pushed way down deep it was there. this uncomfortableness that i could not escape.

i am seeing new relationships form and beginning to go deep and be real and fun. people are fun and i love being with people, but i also like to be alone. i have embraced that about myself. i sometimes just need a second. i am not totally confident. i have not arrived but i am moving. i am seeing such hope and joy from really doing life alongside my new friends and my heart feels full and peaceful. i am thankful people have accepted us and pursued us and shown us grace in this new season of life. i love that i am still walking through life post cancer and discovering where it is taking me and for now...i am hopeful and looking forward to the future. i just had this random thought...it is so funny what ends up on the blog when so much goes unwritten and not shared. along with this new hope has come living on a budget (i hate it), thinking i was pregnant (which i am not), getting good time with justin and our family, working, exhaustion, and thinking about my new grey and white chevron curtains more than any human should think about fabric.


such a time as this...jmu graduation tomorrow, almost summer, the pace of life seems to slow a bit & i am ready for it.

the view from the top of our street.
 yup, those are mountains in between all the trees.

***


i love angie. i am so proud of how far she has come and that she is making her God given talents and passions a reality...sister has a little business that one day will be a big business. we all start somewhere. angie designed our blog a few months ago and i love it. it feels like me and she just finished up on my friend elizabeth's new blog design. she is using her graphic design skills and creativity to make custom wedding invites, save the dates, birth announcements, etc (all found on her design blog HERE). but today she officially opened her ETSY shop full of creative and real prints for your home, office, dorm, etc. what is perfect about her prints is that you can print them off at home. when you purchase a print a PDF file is sent to your email within 24 hours. no shipping and handling. no waiting. boom...ready to go. i have this one ready to be hung in little ava's nursery. we sing it to her every night. this one will be gracing our walls very soon as well..gotta love katie davis.

***in celebration of her etsy shop opening...how about a GIVEAWAY just for us? because everyone loves something for free and it is fun to win something. one lucky commenter will get THIS print (also see below). it is one angie's favorite and my mine too. giveaway will end sunday 5/7 at 6pm. tell me...what you are hopeful about? comment away and winner will be announced monday night. ***

happy weekend. let's really enjoy it.

14 comments:

  1. i am so hopeful for this summer. i've been a summer camp counselor for 9 summers and it is in my cabin with my girls that i feel most at home, most inspired, most myself. i love every summer but i just know that God has big things planned and this is going to be one of the best. i love this print b/c that's how we live at camp- love rules and it infiltrates every part of our culture.

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  2. libby i love you and loved our time together. that's it and enough said. love you

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  3. I have had a few deaths lately in my life and I am hopeful sunny days are coming!!

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  4. Thanks for sharing your heart Libby. I could literally feel the hope in your words. As Dusty is almost done with school & a large summer camp trip is approaching I feel new life coming as well. Thankful. I'm so proud of Angie & this is my absolute favorite print in the shop! Hope I win!

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  5. i am anxious, but i am mostly hopeful. hopeful that the Lord will fill spots on our bus to sharptop in just over a month. most of my girls are not able to go to camp anymore, so we have many open ones. hopeful that finances will flow in and the all the glory would be given to Him. our area is struggling financially and our kids are struggling financially even more. hopeful that kids that are not yet signed up for camp yet will be there and that they will meet Jesus!

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  6. I am hopeful for this little life growing inside me!

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  7. thank you, Libby, for this post. you hit the nail right on the head. I just moved from Michigan to Montana with my husband, and your words are ringing so true for me right now. "i have not arrived but i am moving." thank you for your honesty and for your faith in Jesus through it all. I am hopeful that Montana will become the home for me that God intends it to be and that His peace will fill me more each day.

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  8. I am hopeful that we will find out we're expecting soon!

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  9. hopeful for what God has in store for my future! (Jer. 29:11) :)

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  10. Love the post & love you. Hopeful that you & Ava & Justin canvisit our new home

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  11. thanks for sharing your heart friend, always hits home. hopeful for lots of things, mostly that I allow Jesus to be my stream of living water & hope. that I may thirst for him in the ways that I thirst for worldly satisfaction & affirmation. you're not alone. thankful to do life with you, even if it's in small doses & from a distance. so proud of our sweet friend. i want to buy every print in the shop! love your all's friendship, thankful for both of them in my life. love you lib

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  12. hey lib! i'm loving the etsy shop, great job! i'm hopeful for a future in Christ with a life that knows no pain, or sorrow, but a life that is filled with joy & praise....everyday! miss you, xoxo.

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  13. I'm hopeful for more babies to love soon in our family:)

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  14. oh oh oh this is my favorite print! PICK ME PICK ME!!

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