Saturday, November 27, 2010

7 down 5 to go.

chemo went fine yesterday. my mom came for a little bit so she could picture where we go. it was nice. i got sick right when i got there and then when we left. but its done. five more to go. i can do this. my parents had to head back to michigan when we got home. so i went to sleep and justin took ava on a little dinner date. he loved it. my parents made for a wonderful thanksgiving. sitting on the porch was a dream. and the food was good. and it was pretty healthy too. except that my favorite part of the meal was the stuffing. wow i never knew how much i loved that stuff.

chemo days are always a bit of a blur. but justin got home with ava around 4:30 and she took a nap until 6:30pm. good girl. thought it would mess up her schedule but she went down fine for justin at 8:30pm. thank the lord for ava. she will always have a special place in our heart because of this time with cancer. she has been the greatest part. our bedroom is right off the hallway so its pretty central. i cracked my door open so i could listen to ava and justin while he made her dinner. its precious. there is nothing like it for a mom to hear her husband loving their child the way i heard justin last night. it was a peaceful night. a somber night. no guests. it was dark. the house was cleaned up. thanks justin. i was resting and justin was in the midst of a perfect night with his dear ava. it made me realize how often i steal that from him. without even meaning too. that time with her i mean. its easy for me to just do it. because i want to. but he does too. and when i am resting from chemo and justin gets to take care of her. just him. there is something real special about that time. i could feel it last night. and maybe because its the holiday season and there is something different in the air. but in the midst of our sorrow. this has been a sad chemo round for us both. i felt at peace. and i know last night was a night i will i never forget. even though i had no physical part in it. but i laid in bed just listened to the two people i love the most on earth share a very special night together.

i heard the bath water running and was in and out of sleeping/closing my eyes and i heard justin yell..."babe, i forgot how does twinkle twinkle little star go again? which i burst out in song for him to hear from our bedroom. and i trail off as i hear him pick up where i ended. then i hear the water draining and he gets her ready for bed. such a special time of the day. if you have kids. try not to rush that time. is precious and a day will come when they do not want you to tuck them in. so i will not rush it. even though i often do and i hate that. i see him grab the ipod speakers from the kitchen. i know what he is doing. he is about to dance with his other girl. the first of many. ava goes to bed. justin bursts in our room to which i say..."babe, why do you do that? you never sneak in. or even attempt to be quiet in case i am sleeping. its always like you barge in. lets work on that." he says..."oh, sorry ok i will."

i could tell he was going to post on the blog last night. its been a while. i realized it when i got up around midnight and saw some blog comments had come through on my blackberry. i cried through the post and the video. cancer is sad. and we are young. trying to figure this out and sometimes we fail. but we sure are trying. thanks justin for being real and honest and showing me your heart. lets never stop doing that.

i was reading 2 Corinthians this morning. chapter 4. i read 16-18. which i have read many times. but this morning it struck me in a new way. therefore we do not lose heart. though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  so we will keep our eyes on christ. if not we will not make it. seriously. we will not be able to handle this emotionally or physically. its all too... too... too much for us. but we are not alone. and we will focus on what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary. and this little temporary part of our life with cancer is not forever. oh, how we pray it is not forever. but justinjustin and that sometimes its hard to even talk about. let alone express on the blog. but its big. its life changing. and marriage changing. and family changing. so there is the gift. in the midst of the sorrow and the pain. because man i am in pain today. we will keep our eyes on christ.


  1. 7 down seems so wonderful. I can remember when it just started and the road seemed endless...and now 5 left!! That's something to celebrate! And celebrate, we will, in just a couple of weeks.
    You are right about the joy that comes from witnessing your husband love your kids. It always fills my heart to bursting to see Tommy with the kids. Such a sweet little bond. I love it that he yelled out about how to finish twinkle, twinkle! Too funny. Tommy just makes up incorrect verses and then the kids think I'M the one who doesn't know the words!!
    Love you. So much. Let's skype soon. Let's carpool. Let's dress up in dad's clothes. Whatever...let's just bring the color back!

  2. Just lean...lean a little harder on Him Libby. You can do this. I can only imagine how difficult this must be. Feel better.

  3. Libby, I have so much I want to say to you that I don't even know where to start. I probably should email you but I know you are bombarded with emails by people that are inspired by you and motivated by you like me. Your strength as you face cancer is amazing. But more your strength to remain strong and get through it in a way that brings you closer to your family and closer to God is what amazes me. I don't know how you do it and this is what inspires me. I can't even put into words the way I feel after I read some of your blog postings...I just sit at my computer with it open and stare at the beautiful pictures you alteranate on your header and think nonstop. Can you email me your mailing address? I'd like to send you something and I see in the top right corner that you said you'd send it to people if they asked... you can email it to: jehendric(at)hotmail(dot)com. Thank you for keeping up your blog. I know you do it for yourself for later but in reading comments and your facebook page, it's very clear that you've inspired others through it as well.

  4. libby...i really missed you today...being with the family i can't say the "whole" family, because with the 3 of you missing it isn't whole...we talked, thought, and prayed for you guys so glad that the man you love, loves that little girl so much to make sure he sings her the songs, just right...and that you are the mom, even sick in bed, that can call out to help him...i look at drake and my heart aches for the love i feel...i am so glad that i know you are out there experiencing the same ache for makes me feel closer to you somehow...and i need that, i need to feel close to my sister right now, because i really miss you...i haven't cried in a while, but your words, seeing ava's sweet face, they are tear worthy...maybe it's the season of the year, when we gather, reflect, and celebrate...i will gather you in my heart, reflect that i am so blessed to have you in my life, and celebrate that those nasty cancer cells are dying at this very moment...and that our GOD is healing you each sorry i can't ease your pain...much love...becky

  5. I can't express how much I appreciate the real, honest, and exposed thoughts you and Justin share. It's beautiful. 7 down is so exciting! You are a constant encouragement! Thank you, a lot.
    -Laura- (friend of YL friends)

  6. Libby,

    I spoke again of you and Justin this weekend while my daughter was visiting. I have shared your blog with her. Rachel is a very private person and listens more than she speaks.....she wanted to know more about Young Life and about you all. She is inspired and just as I do prays for you all daily. Although there are many miles between us you are thought of often and such an inspiration to many young and old. Love and prayers, ~Shirl

  7. Seven down...five to go! Thank you for posting. I can only imagine how many people are helped by your blog. I love your new picture!


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