sisters.

so i love the community we have around this blog because it was fun to hear from so many of you with the whole..."been there done that thing" and helping me feel like i am not the least bit alone in all of this. so thank you. i did get my nails done by the way but i am yet to drink more than two sips of coffee before it's cold. i heated it up 6 time so far today and now that it's noon i am switching to water.

with ava i was pretty relaxed when it came to her schedule. she sorta fell into a rhythm that worked for our family. with little lyla i am starting to see more of a pattern way earlier than with ava and i like it. but it does not always work and what i mean is that we do not always enforce it. so yesterday for example she basically was held all day and when we set her down she got real mad. but today i have laid her down wide awake twice for a nap and after a few minutes of tears she fell asleep. love it. last post=bad day. this post=good day. we are falling into a little rhythm and i like it. i am also
taking some meds to assist with my baby blues. the same day i wrote this post
i saw my midwife and i filled out this little postpartum questionnaire and when she came in to talk with me to see how i was doing i started crying immediately. i didn't even know why. just so much emotion around our life. ted's death, lyla's birth, two years since cancer...i just have not felt normal. because so much about our life is adjusting yet again to a new normal. so we are trying some medicine for a little bit. i am always open to help. so thankfully alongside that and getting more sleep at night and justin and i being on the same page we are all doing a bit better over here. i am trusting my instincts and i love that when you are a mom...you seem to just know. maybe not all the time and we mommas can't feel bad about that. they are little humans with a mind of their own and we sometimes do not have the faintest idea what to do. but when we do...man, it feels like a victory.  with teddy we know that she loves to be on her tummy, over my right shoulder, with some little pats on her booty. it seems to be the ticket unless she is hungry. it cures all the tears.

side note. people ask pretty often if we are calling her teddy or lyla. we call her both. we love both. so whatever feels more natural we are good with that. i usually use lyla. but either one works.

at this very moment both my girls are sleeping. i miss them but not really. mostly i like it. rachel zoe marathon (swear i wont watch it all day) is on today so i am watching the style network, folding laundry, and because of the few inches of snow we got last night it feels like we are "snowed in" so we are staying put. we even drank hot chocolate.

i am loving the bond between the girls that is happening so naturally. lyla smiles at ava the most. she turns her head to where ava is and whenever ava hugs lyla she always closes her eyes and it melts me. while at the same time ava is not least bit concerned with jumping on the bed and nearly crushing lyla. but when she hugs and kisses her she stops and closes her eyes and soaks her in a bit. i love that.  i have two sisters and then hit the jackpot when i married justin and got the bonus of a third sister. i love that we are all married with families so despite the age differences and the distance we are all sharing life. we understand each other on a different level and i need that in them. praying our girls love for one another is even deeper. i hope they feel like someone always has their back and they are never alone. so when they are teenagers and maybe don't like me very much they will have one another.

sometimes she is real happy

and sometimes she is real sad.

haircut for ava is officially happening. tomorrow at 4pm baby.
will post pictures for sure.