i have been sitting here for what feels like forever...and i got nothing. i had hopes of writing while ava is asleep and before i need to get to bed...but nothing seems to be coming. not sure what that is about. i guess this is writers block. i told justin this weekend that i feel like i have no goals and i am not sure what i am passionate about. to which he said...babe, you are passionate and let's get you some goals. i know what i like. i know how i like to spend my time. i enjoy lots of things. for example i like decorating, cooking, crafts, tv, books, shopping, being outside, going for walks, hanging with friends, being with my family, etc. i enjoy all those things. but i guess i wish i knew what ignited a fire inside me. what brought be joy and purpose. i know my life is found in Christ...but i desire to have more specific direction. is okay that i do not feel passionate everyday about being mom? but i would not trade it for the world. ever. seriously. is it normal to feel different about things everyday? it okay that i know i want to write a book...in theory but the idea scares me and i am paralyzed in that fear so i stop moving in a direction of writing? is anyone else in this boat? not totally clear on what they are about and where they are headed? i wish..for now that i had a little more vision for my life. i do believe that if you put your mind to something you can do it. whatever it is. i do believe that...just not totally sure what i want or where i am going (aside from the definite: being a wife, ava's mom, and a friend to many) so instead of coming to some conclusion or conclusions tonight...i will keep it open ended.
anyone else feel the same way? i sure hope so.
regardless of my lack of goals for tonight...at least ava is real cute.
thanks queen. these pictures are precious.