Friday, August 19, 2011

a little update from camp. but not much.

camp is good. it is family camp this weekend and then on monday we head home. it has been a fast two weeks. time always seem to fly by. it has been great to get to know other wives whose husband's are on staff with young life and really get to talk and share about our lives. i have loved that. but i am exhausted. justin is too. probably way more than me. everyone here seems a bit tired. it's normal i guess.

ava is full of energy. she runs so fast. she does not always listen. i know she will not always listen but we need her to work on her listening skills a little bit more. she is wearing us out. she is tough and strong and i love that. she is also beautiful to us. clearly we are her parents. but she hits other kids and i am mortified. every chance i can we have little talks about being gentle. playing nice. sharing. giving hugs. but most of the time she is not that sweet or gentle. it makes for long long days. i love her more than i knew was possible but i am for sure having a hard time with her behavior and the amount of energy she has. i am not in denial. we do not make excuses. it is just hard. she is a broken sinful little girl. it is her nature to test the limits and for now it is just hard. i think parenting is full of many joyous moments but also some tough ones too. but i am pretty sure we all know that.

we got some big things happening in our life. some good and some hard. some are both good and hard at the same time. this has certainly been the toughest month for me since chemo ended. i am a bit of an emotional roller coaster. beginning to process things for the first time and allow myself to really cry and grieve over the fact that i had cancer and figuring out what life looks like now and it is draining. but i am learning new things. God is in all our seasons and post cancer has been a tough one. more to come on that when i have more time. so thankful i am not alone in this. what a comfort He is.

6 comments:

  1. We have a strong-willed little guy on our hands too. I've read an incredible book, and am about to do a post on it. Check my blog soon for details!!!

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  2. Inara has trouble obeying us too. I started reading "don't make me count to three" by ginger plowman and it has been super helpful so far.

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  3. the assignment we had when my daughter was ava's age was the worst month of my life. it was a 5 week assignment at rockbridge. the only reason i didn't pack up and come home was the thought of grocery shopping and cooking!! that was two years ago. i can laugh about it now. it took awhile. ok, maybe 2 years awhile. it's a hard, hard age to be out of your own environment and with lots of other people. you're on the home stretch!

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  4. Hey! I totally didn't put 2 & 2 together to realize that 2 of my very special girls have been on work crew this session! Can't believe that I just now realized that you are all there together!

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  5. hi libby, i'm a regular reader and i have to say, this post's honesty really struck me. thank you for sharing your heart, even when you are a little sad or hurting. i'll be praying for you this weekend!

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  6. I enjoy reading what you write. Don't be so hard on yourself or your daughter. Most children go through a bit of a hitting and/or poor listening stage, as they develop. Sometimes little ones feel that need to exert their independence, or get negative attention. Even with great parenting, and it seems like you guys re amazing parents. It will pass.

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