ever feel like you need a redo? maybe a start over?
as i was washing my face i though...i think i need an overhaul. then my mind raced to all that an overhaul may entail. my first thought being...eat healthy, start writing again, clean up this room...lose the clutter and straight up create a bedroom that is peaceful without clothes everywhere. maybe that can happen. but i am not totally sure. i think this whole overhaul has been sparked due to our up coming move and a time that really sets you up to start fresh and make things new. i spent the weekend at my first blog/influence/woman/Jesus/ you can do anything you put your mind to kind of thing and i loved it. as i process the weekend a bit more i will be sure to share more details this week. But the way my heart is already feeling refreshed lets me know that..."such a time as this." it might be deep or it might be mostly surface but either way this season of life is about refreshment. i am tired of framing all my thoughts and language through this filter called..i just had cancer so...oh, we just relocated so i am settling in...oh, now i pregnant and sick and exhausted...the unimaginable loss of a parent and then the profound joy and life change that a new child brings...then i was just sleepy for a few months. now we are at today. yes it's been a hectic fall and we just bought our first home and that clean new house is now covered in primer and half painted walls and what feels like more projects than we can possibly tackle. all the things of right now and the past few years are valid. it's been hard and it's been good. we need to extend ourselves grace. always. but maybe...just maybe i have been stuck in all these things and felt defined by them and unable to move forward. it all seemed like too much and maybe it was. but the joy and the sorrow will always come...so for now i am feeling drawn toward newness and growth. i am ready to live in a way that is focused and intentional and simple. i am ready to clear the clutter out and take a hold of what The Lord has for me and my life. I've been feeling a little lazy lately. sure we have had a lot to do and places to go...i just find that my heart and my mind and my body feel a bit stagnate and slow. i want a revival in my heart and my soul and my life. not sure what that all means or what it is going to look like or feel like...but i am into start making my life really count. not out of pride or selfishness but because The Lord of the universe that created you and created me has grand plans for us all. they won't be the same and thank goodness for that.we all have a story. i am just ready to jump in and get on board and not allow my insecurities to keep me here...but have it be the very thing that gives me a voice and a story and a purpose because He has something for all of us. doesn't matter the size or the influence...just matters that we keep our eyes on Christ and what He has for us and to walk in that. i am walking into a season where i am begging for refreshment and direction. i like a plan. but for now my plan includes walking as closely to The Lord as i have ever known because i am ill equipped and uncomfortable and i need Him. which seems like the best place to start...acknowledging exactly where you are and exactly where you need Him. so here we go...
*justin's birthday was yesterday so the girls and surprised him with a little photo shoot our dear friend stef did for us. i love them. here's a few...
without meaning too...the exact picture with each my girls. i love that. so much emotion wrapped up in these two photos. where we've been and where are...it feels right and good. beyond grateful.
my heart. thankful for my family. the people who help give me purpose and drive and direction.
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